Thanks, Megurine. I'll work on that.
October 17th, 2013 at 08:17am
First of all, your summary wasn’t enticing. A summary should be attractive enough so that readers will get drawn to the story. You need to deliver the ‘hook, line and sinker’ in the summary, you know. This article will explain further.
Second, you have to work on your grammar. You need to know when to capitalize and when to put the proper punctuations in sentences and dialogues.
In your summary, you had capitalization and grammatical errors.
Galor, the Weasely's new house elf promises to make Harry and the twins switch bodies and how the twins are loving it! Poor Harry, though.
Since Harry is a name, it should be capitalized. Names are under proper nouns which are always capitalized in sentences. The second “sentence” isn’t really a sentence (in my opinion). It’s unnecessary.
When you’re writing dialogues, you have to watch your punctuation marks.
'Are you serious?!'', Fred and George Weasely asked together, excitedly.
For example, you don’t need to put a comma after the quotation mark. Actually, an apostrophe isn’t really meant for quoting. That’s why there are quotation marks. Quotation marks are punctuation marks that are for dialogue and quoting text.
You should also watch your sentence structure. I’m not saying it’s incorrect but it can be rephrased better than that so that your readers would understand it. The sentence is somewhat confusing.
When he told Harry and the twins that he could make them switch bodies, the twins were so excited but Harry was a little skeptical.
You should also watch your spelling. Exited means differently from excited.
As for the sentences, it’s not really flowing right. It’s kind of choppy.
I understand that your first language wasn’t English but that’s not really an excuse. There are a lot of references and resources online that can teach you grammar. I learned from the internet and from reading stories. If you’re not confident in your grammar and you need help with it, you can ask for help from the Requesting a Site Beta thread.
The Knowledge Base is one part of the site that can also help you improve your grammar. The Grammar section of the KB is really helpful.
Here are articles that can help you:
How to Write an Enticing Description for Your Story
Common Mistakes When Posting Stories on Mibba
How to Interest Readers
Writing Realistic Dialogue
These are all articles in Mibba. There are a lot more that can be found if you surf the net.
I suggest reading other stories so you can get a grasp on how they write descriptions, summaries and dialogues. It’s a pretty good way to improve your writing.