Fox From the West - Comments

This isn't something that I would usually choose to read for myself. Not my cup of tea :) it is a good read though. I think that is started off slow but then it got pretty good. It's very unique. I would recommend fixing the grammar and spelling errors.

----COMMENT SWAP----

Poached Eggs.

Not a bad read. :) There are a few spelling issues here and there that could be fixed up, but other than that there's not a whole lot I would change. You've got a friendly atmosphere and the story moves along at a nice, quick pace. For the most part you convey the characters and their interactions with each other realistically, but I found the Mayor's proposal to Simon far-fetched. His relationship with Gwen I can easily buy into, but not the mayor asking him to take his place. Simon can be friendly all he wants when he's there for one day out of the year, but no one really knows anything about him at all and I can't imagine someone who's in charge of the town putting that amount of trust in a would-be stranger. If anything, Simon's a little too likeable not to be suspicious of him. That could just be me and my paranoid self though. ;)

Why does Simon need to climb out of a window? He couldn't use a door? XD

I admit I wasn't really expecting a twist like throwing in an anthro character, that kind of caught me off guard. I'm curious to know why the guardian of Redtail wants to ditch the place? In any case, their buddying up together sounds so unusual I can't wait to read more to see where their journey takes them. Keep up the good work!

Well, first of all, poached eggs. I have to admit, that little tidbit was clever but overall left a bad taste in my mouth. I don't like when writers put in author's notes in the middle of the story, especially ones in an elaborate setting such as this, because it completely takes me out of the story and just leaves me sitting there like, "Really?" But I digress.

The title of this piece definitely caught my attention. (Maybe it's because foxes are my favorite animal.) I could almost tell just from the design of it that this was going to be a sort of folktale type of deal going on, and I was right. I'm a sucker for those kinds of stories, and you do a wonderful job of recreating the time period (I'm guessing late 1800's?) with the choice of words and actions. I also thought it was endearing that they had never seen fireworks before. Simon almost reminds me of Gandalf coming to the shire in the beginning of Fellowship of the Ring, haha.

I love the parallel symbolism between Simon and the fox. Just as the fox can never seem to be caught by the children during the festival, neither can Simon-- as displayed with the mayor's proposal and Gwen's plead for him to stay. At first I almost thought HE was the fox in some anthropomorphic way, and that was why he exhibited such strange behavior and could only stop by once each year, but alas, I was taken by surprise. The fact that he so adamantly refuses to become a part of the town despite his apparent want to makes me wonder what his inhibitions are. I'm wondering if it's a health issue, judging by all the ailments he's mentioned.

Anyway, this story is off to a great start and could even stand alone as a one shot if you were to add a bit to the end and address some unanswered questions. Good job overall!

I like the organization of this, haha. it's really well written. I can really feel Simon's feelings cause of your detail because of how you explain everything so it's pretty cool haha. Definitley not the typical story that you read every day but has a lot of insights that makes me want to read further. Looking forward to watch you're posting next ^_^

Poached eggs! ;) Anyways, this is a really neat start! I love Simon’s interactions with the town and how everybody treats him as an old friend. It gives a lot of insight into his background without giving it all away and it makes him very interesting. The time period adds a lot as well, and I can really picture it all happening in the past. The twist with Sage being the fox was cool too! Maybe it’s just me but reading historical stuff with the supernatural/magical twist is really interesting. Keep up the great work! :)

*COMMENT SWAP*
I like your story a lot. T he plot is great. What drawed me in is when simion entered the story. It's very touching to now that the people care about him like they do. He really is a nice person if he brings goods to them every harvest. many people don't do that. Anyway I hope she don't hurt him. It would really make me sad. I really like simion and I don't want any thing to happen to hm. But other then that I loved it was great. I look forward to the next chapter.

I really like this, In my opinion, I love legends, and this is the best I have ever read, I love how in the beginning, you explain how the children try to catch the fox, but they don't succeed. you use a really good hook to draw the reader in. I would love to read more of your stories! You are a excellent writer! Keep up the good work!

Definatly not something I would typically read but I really enjoyed this story! Love the way you describe things and I like your writing style. I have no doubt that you could go very far with your writing. I look forward to reading more of your stories :)

Wow. thats awesome, at first i thought it was slow and wasnt going anywhere but after a few minutes i was stuck. i didnt want to stop reading. also i must have their 'poached eggs' recipe;) so far im loving this and you have gained a subscriber:)

Wow. thats awesome, at first i thought it was slow and wasnt going anywhere but after a few minutes i was stuck. i didnt want to stop reading. also i must have their 'poached eggs' recipe;) so far im loving this and you have gained a subscriber:)

This is a comment swap comment. Redundancy, yeah. Also, "Poached eggs"; very sneaky.

Any way, this was quite an interesting read. It did start off slow for me, as I suppose background info usually does, but half way through, it got real interesting. Especially the last part about Sage. I like the touch of fantasy, how she is anthropomorphic; it sure keeps things suspenseful.

The setting, a western-y era, I assume(?), also makes it more fascinating. I am curious about other traditions the townsfolk hold and just how things work in the era as a whole. Not to mention the secrets Simon holds. He's an intriguing character. The comedic mayor also.

However, there are some minor spelling and grammatical errors, so try proof-reading. Overall, good work, and I look forward to reading what happens next.

I like this. It is a wonderful beginning to a story. I love the voice you create of both the narrator and your individual characters. You are definitely under-reccommended and under-commented. Glad I could be the number one comment!