Here judging the round 2 entries for Sixth Time's the Charm!
You start this off really well, it just jumps straight into the action. I like that you set this in an airport and had the girl be the one that the lyrics related to. She really is a character; she's got this give it hell attitude and this really mysterious air that makes me want to know more about what she did when she walked off in Phoenix. I like that the narrator wonders what would happen if they had done the same and walked off with the girl.
Your description is really lovely; simple, but used in a really effective way. The way you've written this makes it a really lovely read with a few sad undertones and I love that. Great job!
This is kind of melancholy in a poetic kind of way. I enjoy it a lot; especially the way the heroin is so sassy in contrast to her delicate image. Good work.
You start this off really well, it just jumps straight into the action. I like that you set this in an airport and had the girl be the one that the lyrics related to. She really is a character; she's got this give it hell attitude and this really mysterious air that makes me want to know more about what she did when she walked off in Phoenix. I like that the narrator wonders what would happen if they had done the same and walked off with the girl.
Your description is really lovely; simple, but used in a really effective way. The way you've written this makes it a really lovely read with a few sad undertones and I love that. Great job!