Paintball - Comments

This entry was great overall and made it easy to see the scene being set right in front of me. All the imagery and descriptions really set the scene well and allowed the audience to be there for the scene. When I first picked this picture, I imaged someone would probably do a couple that was really into paintball- the kind with guns- and I was actually pleased that you came up with your own idea of what the couple was doing to get so messy. I’m a real sucker for cliché romances and this couple seems to have one, so that immediately drew me in. Like I said this is a good entry overall; there were very few minor grammatical errors that I noticed, but nice job.

@ Hopeless Lullabies
Thanks for the comment! I'll con/crit yours tomorrow (I'm going on an eight hour car trip)

After reading this one-shot, it's got me eager to check out more of your writing. I think I'll do so as well after I post this.

I thought this was a really cute, well-written one-shot. Just from this alone, I could tell that the characters have a very solid based relationship. They're pretty happy, which is different from most of the short stories on here, which I love. I loved the layout and the multicolored words at the bottom of the chapter. It fit the story perfectly and I could tell it was well thought out.

@ Tholomew Plague
Thank you. I guess I'll just have to give you an extra-good comment.

Thank you so much for this, it's nice to get a look into a reader's mind every now and then.

Omg it's double posted I'm sorry! Haha

I commented on your poem, but I liked it so much I had to check this out aswell! So you get two for the price of one ;) hehe

First of all, I think this is a great story to go with the picture you got, the descriptive's you used in the story match the picture in a wonderful way. It feels like you took alot of time analyzing it. I like the fact that there is actually blue paint on her thighs in the picture, and you've included it in the story.

I like how free and happy the characters seem to feel. It's refreshing to see, especially when most stories would convey annoyance at the idea of being covered in paint. Even though this is small, it seems to rely that they have a good solid relationship. I really like that.

On a side note, The layout fits the story nicely, and I like that you put the title of the chapter down the bottom in multicolour. :)

All in all, I love it! Your writing style is excellent and you always seem to make me feel like I'm there with them, watching from the road or something. Well that's how I felt anyway