November 16th, 2013 at 07:13am
Halloween Gift! Sorry it's late.
First off, good luck in the contest. I love the irony of the basis, "it's not a crime". Only, it sort of is against the law. She doesn't mean it that way, but I just appreciated the irony of it. Don't know if you did that on purpose.
I do really like the bitter angry tones of the narrator. She is so simple at first glance, but so much can be read into the things she says and does. I, for some reason, don't compeletely believe she means everything she says, but I love the way in which she says it. And I liked this story a whole bunch.
First off, I really like the layout. It's simple and un-cluttered, and I'm a sucker for when the picture chosen is used in the layout.
I just want to say that I pretty much loved this. When I first saw these shoes, I pictured this huge bitch, that just didn't care about what anybody thought and that is exactly how you portrayed her. But underneath all of that anger and her flippant I-don't-give-a-shit-about-anybody attitude is this almost vulnerability that she's trying to hide. I also really like that you never mention a first name. There's this anonymity about who she is and what she does and her lack of a first name adds to that. There isn't any description about where she is, who she's with, or even what she looks like really, and I love this little snapshot into her thoughts.
I noticed one or two spelling/grammar errors but nothing that detracted from the experience of reading it. The only thing I would point out is the long paragraphs and lack of spaces. It just makes it harder to read for some.
All in all, I really enjoyed this. Very good job. Thanks for entering!