That was really quite good, my eyes kept moving the whole way through and as I read I was visualizing it all (as weird as it sounds) and something I really liked about it was the fact that you gave him a little back story and fleshed out your character. That I think made a big different than someone just killing someone else in any other story. This one was more something people could understand why rather than guessing. Good job! 
December 2nd, 2013 at 01:04pm