Jetty - Comments

Here judging the third round of Sixth Time's the Charm!

I really like the fantasy / religious undertone that you've included in this. I like that you've taken the location given and completely turned it around into this fantastic little storyline with the twist at the end. Your description is really lovely in places (particularly loved the phrase splintered jaws to describe the broken pier - amazing!) and it really adds to the overall feel of the story.

I did notice one or two issues with grammar. In the sentence It's hands caressed the gold dust shore, dragging the minuscule pieces to it's watery depths, never to be seen again, it's should be its both times, same with it's dampened beams. I also noticed that in the sentence i felt the weight of a thousand... that i should be capitalised but I think that's just a typo.

Overall, good effort! I'd love to see this idea fleshed out into a full story, I think it'd definitely be interesting!

oops double post

@ midnight sunshine x
You're welcome. :) hugs back at you

@ AJM1
Thank you so so so much!!! you have no idea how much that comment means to me!!!

Beautifully written with shocker ending. You're a wonderful author.