I like this. That is all. :)
November 13th, 2013 at 10:51pm
I want to thank you for entering my contest!
I enjoyed the title of your story a lot. Typically, sin and lust are very closely related. I also thought reading the story had a lustful element which was really nice, and I am not sure if that was intended for it to be that way, but I really, really did like it. I thought that the story flowed perfectly and that is an important factor of the story. I also thought that your word integration was brilliant, you really elevated the word and embraced it.
I thought that your diction was good, but it wasn't great. Some of your words were nicely chosen, however I was searching for something with a little more attack. You need punch, but you need some calm moments, and I felt that your story lacked the punch. I wish the words were a little more in your face, especially with a word like lust. Also, in terms of the theme, though there were lustful elements, I wish there was a little more lust presented throughout the story. I wanted more of that theme to come through.
I am really pleased with this piece overall.