I want to thank you for entering my contest and for being the first person to give in their entry.
I think where you really did excel was the usage of the sentence. You were really clever with your usage of it and I liked that so much. You really worked on making the sentence what the essence and heart of the story was and you did it an amazing job there. I thought your style was cool, and your format was really nice. I thought that your story was incredibly unique, and I can always appreciate that. I think you chose a strong idea for a plot line, and I think you addressed a subject that can be sensitive to some, but that many people can relate to.
In terms of the plot line, I wish you had just developed it a little more than you had. I thought it had so much potential, but it just lacked a little bit. I thought that it needed a little more expanding, because it felt a little too rushed overall.
I think that this story was really, really well done and you should be proud of it!
I think where you really did excel was the usage of the sentence. You were really clever with your usage of it and I liked that so much. You really worked on making the sentence what the essence and heart of the story was and you did it an amazing job there. I thought your style was cool, and your format was really nice. I thought that your story was incredibly unique, and I can always appreciate that. I think you chose a strong idea for a plot line, and I think you addressed a subject that can be sensitive to some, but that many people can relate to.
In terms of the plot line, I wish you had just developed it a little more than you had. I thought it had so much potential, but it just lacked a little bit. I thought that it needed a little more expanding, because it felt a little too rushed overall.
I think that this story was really, really well done and you should be proud of it!