Mercury Mountain - Comments

I can't wait to read more of this! The world sounds extraordinary!!

I hope you haven't stopped writing this ): it really is amazing and I'm absolutely dying to know what happens next. It's not often I find a story or even a published book that has me hooked after just a few amazingly well written chapters. Everything about this story is perfection and its only just the beginning, I would LOVE to read more. You are a very talented writer and I hope you continue this! <3

This is perhaps one of the best stories I've read on Mibba and its only been 4 chapters! Your writing style is so perfect and descriptive and just over all beautiful. You create amazing visuals with your words and create characters that capture my interest immediately. Weston is terrifying in this extremely intimidating way, like I'm constantly on edge when he's around Heloise. I love how Heloise isn't soft spoken "Can I help you?" hahaha. I absolutely can't wait to read more, I could sit and read this all day!

This is an absolutely wonderful story :3 I can't wait to read more.

Ugh, just read the second chapter and bleeeck Weston sounds so gross. Like seriously he needs to stop and go away and just gross. So much nasty.

The only error I caught was it should be 'grand finale' not 'grand finally'.

I've only read the first chapter and I'm incredibly intrigued. When I read the summary I was like how in the hell is she going to marry a god damn mermaid. He lives in the fucking ocean. But apparently not. I'm curious to see what your type of mermaid is if they aren't solely sea dwelling creatures. Seriously though you need to stop with the awesome plot lines and amazing writing technique. It's getting obnoxious. ;p

THIS IS SO AMAZING AND I LOVE THE SUMMARY TOO. I also love the litte author's note and guiltily, I clicked the link just to see where it would lead to and laughed out loud so hard when I saw that it lead to Wattpad. God, I hate that website but it used to be a guilty pleasure when i was like 14. Anyways, this doesn't really seem like the cliche arranged marriage and you have such amazing skills that i just want to RIP MY HAIR OUT. Like, holy cow, how have I not read your stories before? My favorite of the beginning was especially, "Her jaw cut at such an angle it looked like it might cut like a knife, and her nose was so straight and short it could count for a dagger," because not as if a girl on fire were enough, the stunning visuals were so clear and vivid I just really wanted to read on. I only read the first chapter, but I will definitely be back for more!

I love the summary to the story it is really good opener. The start of the story was wonderful and very interesting. I really like the story. It has a unique feel to it.

It has the perfect amount of detail. I do love this story. Keep up the good work and have a wonderful day.

Wow! First initial thoughts: Looks very interesting and has a beautiful layout. In the summary I did notice that Heloise is mentioned as the fifth and final daughter though only three other sisters were mentioned. Not sure if that's a typo or you didn't mention a fifth sister on purpose but it kind of confused me. Still the summary really does a good job of setting up the story.

The chapter kind of confused me at first only because I was expecting it to be in Heloise's POV but no worries. I think it's obvious that it's Weston narrating as you continue to read. I'm pretty surprised that it didn't start with the "rebellious princess asking her daddy to not make her marry some jerk prince" I can't tell you how many arranged marriage stories I've read like that. It was very refreshing.

You do a really good job of creating the scene in my opinion. I could actually see what was going on which I love. I love how you described things and you have this certain flow that makes your writing so much more enjoyable to read.

I like how they talk like they're from a time with magical creatures and not like modern high school kids.

Hmm favorite part of the chapter is probably Prince Virion. I love angels and he seems great. I also like the relationship of Weston and Harry. They have good chemistry.

One sentence really bugged me. "As soon as we were open in the open night’s air and they only things to hear us were stars Harry rounded on me." I think they should be the and there should be a comma after stars. It's very confusing still, though. It just doesn't flow well with me. Maybe "...the only things that could hear us..." or "...the only things listening to us..." Do with that what you please. Just throwing it out there.

I think this has the potential to be really great for only having one chapter. Keep up the good work! Looking forward to reading more.

I love your writing to pieces, but I am seriously confused... can't wait for the next chapter. :D

Definitely looking forward to this. Please write soon:)

Well..... Looking forward to this one.