When I'm Gone - Comments

Oh wow! This is very good! I don't usually read stories like this but i really like this. I feel for Josh but at the same time he makes me rage. His internal struggle is hard to hear and i pity him, it sounds awful and couldn't image going through anything like that. But what he did to his daughter was so messed up. I hope he gets help soon. If i were Alana i would probably stay with him through all of that but the moment you hurt my child, it's over. But sadly i don't think Josh can get better without her..sooo keep writing more so i can see what happens ha ha. I am not the best at grammar , so too me your story was well written in that aspect, i love how short but very detailed your writing is. All in all in was a very intense and slightly thrilling story , keep this one it's good!

I want to punch everyone in this story in the face. Which is good because I'm assuming that's what you're trying to do. Josh is so pathetic that he's choosing the drugs before his kid and family. If I were Alana I would've dropped him ages ago, not to mention her idiocy at believing that he would quit. I'm assuming he's said it to her hundreds of time and apparently it's only gotten worse. Poor foolish girl. One thing that I think could be improved upon is your detail. The story line itself is very nicely done and it's moving at a nice pace but I think a little bit more description and backstory would do nicely for this. My one issue is I feel like he should feel like maybe the drugs don't have a negative effect on him--in my experience normally addicts don't think they have an addiction and can stop whenever they want to. He seems to know he can't stop but also doesn't want to stop. Also the whole thinking it's going to kill him--again from what I gather they think they're invincible and the drugs won't hurt them. But that's just my opinion-- I think fixing that would make Josh's case a bit more believable. But otherwise very nicely done.

hello! sorry for taking so long to get back to you. i apologize. D: anyways, this story looks fantastic, just judging from the layout. i don't usually read stories about drugs and such because it reminds me of not so pleasant times with a close family member. but nonetheless, i'm excited to start reading this!

chapter 1: oddly enough, i found myself sort of...panicking as i read this chapter. i'm pretty sure that wasn't the desired effect that you would have when reading something like this, but idk. anyway, i found this chapter severely depressing. it's awful to see how someone can be affected so negatively and severely by drugs. it's like watching a train wreck and not being able to stop it. absolutely heartbreaking.

chapter 2: It’s the 27th of December and I am finally sober enough to remember my family. oh my god! that's just so sad and awful. :( the part that sort of killed me was when he mentions that he missed his daughter's first birthday. it's awful to know that it doesn't affect just the user, but his whole family. the part where he goes to see hannah and tells that everything would be better when he's gone is just...oh my god. this chapter pretty much shattered my heart. :(

chapter 3: oh man, i hope the dinner goes well, but as i, too, know a little too well, it won't. and now I can see why; he's getting drugs before the dinner? man. :( the entire family seems to be totally fucked up (especially the brother with the pub, the angry father, and the manic mother) and all of this is just so sad. the ending line, where he drinks and it comforts him, really seals the deal for me. wow. :/

this story is incredibly intense, for me, at least; but that's not saying that it's not good, because it's actually very good. i like that it's based on actual experiences and not just thought up on a whim. i'll definitely check back when you update this. well done. (:

I always feel weird whenever I see the date of my birthday in stories- that second chapter gave me chills I can say that much.

My knowledge of drugs and the effects of them is quite limited, but I have to admit, this story was extremely harrowing emotionally and that is something you don't often get to see in stories. I love the simplicity of it all, and the horrific reality that gets intertwined with it. The fact that you've taken what could potentially be a very controversial subject and created something like this, is awesome.

I love that you've chosen to speak from the POV of the character with the drug problem, especially combining it with the relationship that he has with his family. It's interesting to see how a facade can really be everything a family needs to get through difficult times.

Excellent so far- you are a very talented writer!

Woah. First of all, love the layout, fits the story very well. Secondly, This is so accurate, it gives me goosebumps. I really enjoy your writing style, and how you kind of pulled me in, without a lot of fancy words, it's a rare talent.

I've been around speed before, so I have heard people talk exactly about that feeling of needing it more and more just to keep away the comedown. Excellent. Really emotional and powerful, put's you right there in the scene with them. I am rec'ing. :)