All She Wrote (To The Sound Of Bells) - Comments

I'm going to revert to being a site staff member quickly. Your title (so that it complies with Mibba's story guidelines) should be capitalised as follows: All She Wrote (to the Sound of Bells).

Okay, now onto commenter mode again. Sorry.

1/1

This actually creeped me out a little. I actually have this massive fear of being buried alive (it's so irrational but I can't help it) and whilst I was reading, I just got this feeling of absolute dread that settled in my chest. That's impressive because I don't usually freak out this much after reading most things, never mind a drabble. The bells all ringing out simultaneously seem to be kind of stuck in my head now, I could almost hear them ringing as I read through and the more I read, the more freaked out I managed to make myself. I don't know how on earth you managed to do that with piece this short, but you did. Everyone else has already said it, but this is a powerful piece. I think the little five-line letter in the middle of the piece was what did it for me though. It's almost like a little poem and it reads so effortlessly that it's almost scary.

Concrit

I don't think I have any. I was too busy ensuring that I couldn't be buried alive in my bedroom.

Overall

You've thoroughly freaked me out with this and although that may sound like a bad thing, it isn't. I'm actually really impressed that your writing invoked such a strong response with me. I don't know if it's because I do have that existing fear, but either way, you've managed to stir up something and I think that's incredible. I like writing to challenge me like this and it's lovely to read something that invokes that kind of feeling in me again. As weird as it sounds, this is a really incredible piece.

WOW! This is strongly written and powerful through the words and it's actually really wonderful. I think the way you worked with it played nice and you portrayed a realistic idea. I love it.

Wow, this hit me really hard, I didn't expect a piece like this, it gives this a shock factor that can be worked really well. Like XXXataktoulaXXX there are such things as premade layouts in the story section, just need a nice layout to add to it.

First of all, even if you are not good at making layouts - you can use the premade ones (and in case the banner doesn't fit with your story - there are those layouts without banners), at least it will make it look better.

As for the summary, you should have added at least a sentence there which will leave a great impact on the reader's mind.

These two advices (layout and summary) will go for the rest of your writings, if they are the same. I'm pointing that out here so I won't have to comment with the same things again and again.

Now, onto the actual drabble. This is a strong piece and its totally realistic. It actually made me sad, and its amazing that you can make your reader feel like that with under 100 words. Well done!

~Marian.