Live - Comments

for some reason when I read this the first time when you only had the first two chapters up I thought this was going to get happier. But I am so glad that it didn't. Everyone feels the way that Jade does, especially after losing a family member. I love your wording, I love your style, and I cannot find anything wrong with this at all. It's beautiful, and poetic (not just the way it's written). I absolutely love this story. I can't subscribe and rec because I am already subbed and rec'ed. But I shall tell everyone I meet about this story because it's beautiful.

Oh my god I love this so much! I love the style of writing. It fits this story perfectly and not many people can implement free verse and it actually flow well and give so much insight into the character but this is fantastic. I also like the theme a lot. Great job seriously.

Merry Christmas!

I've only ever read one other story like this - the brilliant Silver by Average Lifesaver;; - and I love it. This had a huge effect on me, the subject matter was so emotional and the tone of the story was beautiful. I really, really loved this!

Wow, I must say this is more beautiful than I thought it would be. I love that you have followed Ellen Hopkins on this (my favorite author, by the way!). This is just too beautiful for words. The schematics n this story is so structured and yet not at all. I'm so in love with it. The first three chapters made tears well up in my eyes.

The layout is beautiful as well. It really adds to the traumatic feeling in the story. Jamie seems like a good kid that took a wrong turn in life, like so many other. I really want to cry after reading through the story. It is so somber and solemn and the pain that is elicited really hurts.

I'm so glad to see work like this on Mibba. Its so refreshing to see a piece like this. Do keep this up. This is just...too amazing for words. I feel speechless. Thank you for showing me to this story. I'm humbled to have been able to comment on it. :D Truly amazing work, love.

Wow! I can't even being to tell you just how incredible this is! I'm a fan of Ellen Hopkins and to see that someone on Mibba has tried to give her writing style a try is pretty damn refreshing. It's different, new, incredibly fantastic.

The tone is perfect, I love how somber it all feels, it feels almost surreal, to me. It starts with a bang and I feel like it just spirals from there. It doesn't spiral into anything terrible, it's a fantastic piece of work, I just feel that this is going to be great. Geez... I guess that the best way to describe what I'm trying to say is that is gives me a helluva lot of feels. It's beautiful.

I love this story, seriously I love Ellen Hopkin's work and now seeing someone else using her writing style is absolutely amazing! I love how you have it written perfectly.

Each chapter seems more to be a poem but not exactly a poem, ones that we the readers can understand. I'm sorry that Jamie had to die before his own brother did, strange how death can just select a better person over a person who isn't deserving of living.

I'm glad his Mother started to clean up, and I love how you have written the slowly healing process of losing someone special. This is a great story and I was glad to read it:)

Comment swap? All right, I think the layout's really pretty and although we don't know much about the narrarator - anyone who has lost someone close can relate. Pause. I'd like to just say that I absolutely adore Ellen Hopkin's and her fluid writing style, and I'm pretty sure I've read all her books and shed a few tears on the pages. I really do like when people use free-verse and I like the way that you make the visual format to fit the fluidity of the words themselves. So far, I think this is going along really well and I'm really curious to see what the narrator's connection to Jamie is, and I wonder what Jamie's brother's role in this story will be.

Like I said before, This is going along really nicely, so just keep up the good work!

Ugh this is so sad, it puts my story to shame I really liked how this is written, it's unique, different and it's short, I like short, simple but powerful pieces of work and yours was all that. Simple but powerful. The flow is nicely done as well, I didn't struggle to read both chapters and I can't wait to see where you're going with this :) Keep up the good work, I'm glad you decided to experiment with this type of writing.

This is interesting. I've never really read anything like it. I am a bit lost over who Jamie is, but that's also why I like this. His character sort of draws me in while the speaker's sadness holds my attention.

I love the potential of this. You can go any and everywhere with it. The tragic beginning is rather sad, but considering the title is Live I'm expecting some excitement too. I think this is well written and the verse style worked well for me. I look forward to your updates

At some point we're all going to leave this world.
This is a sad statement. I wonder how you will play with it.

Chapter one:
I've never read anything like this before and with that I mean the free verse style/completely poetic.

Does this type belong in the stories though? Cause basically its poem. You create a Category, and put each chapter/poem there in the right order. That way you tell your story. (I'm asking because I don't know.)

This was very interesting if I have to say the least, but was the narrator expeting what her mother was going to say? By the way, starting this story with tragedy is somethign not many writers can pull off nicely and without seeming forced, but I think you are doing a good job with it so far.

~Marian.

This is really interesting from the very beginning. I like how you don't really give any background information - you just start right at the tragedy. And you didn't even have to say much about Jamie. Just those few words you offered was good enough to make me feel bad for him and his family.

It really takes a good writer to write a chapter this short and make it enticing and efficient. And I really think you succeeded in doing so. :) Great read.