In Our Heads - Comments

I'm going to go on a binge of your stories

This story made me feel carefree. I think I've said this before, but I'm gonna repeat myself: I love how you pour emotions into your stories and how you make us feel them through the narration. I could see myself running in the woods and it was fall and beautiful I absolutely love your writing.

That was absolutely amazing. The last sentence is spectacular, and it made me reread the entire piece again, just so I could read into the words. Well done, absolutely stellar.

I really loved the sentence structure in the beginning. I can literally see these kids, in my own mind, exactly how they see themselves: playing and acting like nothing at all is wrong with them. Normally I'm not a fan when people use that sort of sentence structure throughout their stories because sometimes they really overdo or it's not done enough. But the way you used it was just right.

And then... that last sentence. Jesus, that really does pack such a powerful punch. I wasn't expecting it to end like that when I started reading because it began with such a hopeful, upbeat tone and then ends the way it does. I think shadow.angel described it exactly right by saying that the last sentence brings it all together, because it definitely does.

You've done a really great job with this drabble and I love it so much!

Ahh, I've missed reading your stories. This was so fantastic. I love, love short stories, and you write them so incredibly well.

Like shadow.angel said, I think the sentence structure made everything so much more amazing. You kept it consistent and told a story through that in a tiny amount of words and it was beautiful.

Like Doe. said, this is such a powerful piece. I like how you used the similar sentence structure at the start and really painted the pictures in my mind. This is truly a beautiful drabble, well done.

I love this drabble so much that I'm going to feature it in my drabble column in the Mibba Magazine

Wow. Wow. Just... I don't know what to really say. This was just so powerful.