I’m here as the new host for ‘The Writing Contest’.
Ahh, I was kind of hoping you would end the story with some miracle and Ryder would actually live, but that was definitely the romantic in me. I was so sad that the final chapter was Ali visiting Ryder’s grave. I’m not sure if the little girl was Ryder’s daughter or not? It wasn’t very clear. I want to say no because Ali tells her that it’s an old friend, but you also don’t specify and my romantic mind likes to wander to that because I like to think there’s a piece of Ryder with Ali always.
I did wish that perhaps there was a little more emotional depth, though. I didn’t really connect to Ali or Ryder or their relationship on a whole. I was sad for them because it was a heartbreaking situation, but I didn’t get enough time to connect with either of them so I don’t think it impacted me as heavily as it should have. I wish it would have because I think you had the potential to totally rip my heart out. You started out with such a cute storyline, but it kind of just lacked any emotional depth. I think it was because your chapters were so short. Like you have 8 chapters (and I love how you spanned each chapter over months), but it’s only a little over 2k words. It doesn’t feel like enough. You should develop Ali and Ryder more whilst delving into their emotions throughout the whole thing.
Other than that, I thought this was a really cute and bittersweet story. Good job!
Ahh, I was kind of hoping you would end the story with some miracle and Ryder would actually live, but that was definitely the romantic in me. I was so sad that the final chapter was Ali visiting Ryder’s grave. I’m not sure if the little girl was Ryder’s daughter or not? It wasn’t very clear. I want to say no because Ali tells her that it’s an old friend, but you also don’t specify and my romantic mind likes to wander to that because I like to think there’s a piece of Ryder with Ali always.
I did wish that perhaps there was a little more emotional depth, though. I didn’t really connect to Ali or Ryder or their relationship on a whole. I was sad for them because it was a heartbreaking situation, but I didn’t get enough time to connect with either of them so I don’t think it impacted me as heavily as it should have. I wish it would have because I think you had the potential to totally rip my heart out. You started out with such a cute storyline, but it kind of just lacked any emotional depth. I think it was because your chapters were so short. Like you have 8 chapters (and I love how you spanned each chapter over months), but it’s only a little over 2k words. It doesn’t feel like enough. You should develop Ali and Ryder more whilst delving into their emotions throughout the whole thing.
Other than that, I thought this was a really cute and bittersweet story. Good job!