My Dear Dakota - Comments

I’m here as the new host for ‘Same Love Contest’.

I really enjoyed the concept of this. I like the idea how two girls meeting in a library and continuing to interact with the excuse of books. I thought you had a really cute beginning to a potentially adorable relationship, but alas. You broke my heart and my dreams with pain and tragedy. I was so upset that suicide is what Dakota turned to, but I can understand that she felt like she had no choice because love isn’t some fix-all method. She was in such a horrible situation with Don. I did think it was strange and kind of… cruel to do it in Rachel’s bathroom, though. Like that’s going to haunt her for the rest of her life, wow.

My only problem with this was definitely the pacing. Everything happened so quickly, and I know it’s supposed to be a whirlwind of emotions but I feel like it would have been better if you just simply expanded Rachel and Dakota’s interactions more. You could still have six chapters and still go the route that you did, but I barely knew Rachel and Dakota on their own and to be fair, they barely knew each other, too. Yet they declared feelings of love and such? It was really hard to connect to because I feel like you were far too fast for such an emotional storyline. I would definitely recommend slowing down a bit, writing more about Rachel and Dakota together in more detail, so I can really feel the punch you were aiming for when Dakota died.

Other than that, this was a really emotional and dark story with a lot of promise so good job.

@ happyamanda
aww well thank you (: not many people do comment on things I write lol

@ hunter eyes;
Its good Your welcome I figured id comment cause nobody else did and I wanted you to know it was good

@ happyamanda
not sure if good or bad but thank you dearest (: !

That was cute in a sad way