December 30th, 2013 at 09:31pm
First off the layout was really hard to read so I had to switch to the default layout. The story itself was really sweet and simple. I love how she had been secretly making the sweaters for everyone in her family and kept it to herself for all that time, even though she knew they must have been worried about her not leaving her room. It gives me the feeling of self-sacrifice even though it's not the normal kind that most people think of. The action was entirely selfless and I love how the holiday season can bring that out in some people.
The way you incorporated your prompt was brilliant and I think the way you did it was also the best way to do it. Instead of them being shop brought sweaters and such, you had them crafted with love and giving which makes this entry really shine with its meaning. Especially as she had been paralytic at times and that must have brought her down drastically in terms of her festive cheer and such.
This was such an uplifting entry that I couldn't help but enjoy it by the end.
I definitely agree with the previous judge, this is a really sweet entry! I love that even though she has the struggle with the paralysis, she still finds the time to spend in her room making all of those jumpers. It's a really sweet idea and a genuinely lovely present. It kind of shows that Christmas and the festive season isn't only about material gain; it's about the love and care that you can extend to your family and I think you've captured that really well. With a lot of stories focusing purely on the material gain, it does make your story stand out. It shows a lot for Aina as a person as well, that she's went to all the trouble to hand-craft the jumpers. I like her, she seems like a strong and beautiful person.
The only complaint I have is a minor grammar error regarding your dialogue. You should always use a comma at the end of a piece of dialogue if it isn't using an exclamation or question mark. For example:
“This one is for everyone. I made one for each.” Aina told her mother
...should be...
“This one is for everyone. I made one for each,” Aina told her mother
Aside from that though, I didn't see any other problems. I love how you incorporated your prompt into the piece and how you wrote it overall! It left me with a warm fuzzy feeling and I love pieces that leave me feeling as happy as this one did. Good job!