Mercury Sells - Comments

This story has great potential, it's interesting and the mystery pulls people in. There's a few typo's that I spotted, but apart from that it's good. :)

You reeled me in! This seems like a good story. I'm interested to see how this will go.

I am so interested in the story. I really like the short updates. I can't for you to post more(:

This story has me baffled and intrigued. I love it so much already and I can't wait for more!

The layout is simplistic and beautiful, I'm glad in my hiatus no one has forgotten the true emphasis a simple (non neon) layout can bring to a story. That being said, your story is very simplistic, much so that it becomes slightly confusing. It's not my place to tell you how to run your story but maybe consider having the second chapter on the front page of the story and with the first chapter elaborating a bit more. Sometimes when trying to write simplistically to draw readers in, authors forget that their readers aren't privy to all the information going on in their heads. Not that I'm saying you should lay everything out on the table but yeah. I hope you understand what I'm getting at. There is just enough mystery at this point to really draw in a large audience!! This story is in the makings to be very powerful so keep it up!

THIS LAYOUT IS GORGE.
and I'm really excited for this okay this looks really awesome.

THIS LOOKS EXCITING AND I'M EXCITED
the layout is absolutely fab