How Did We Come Together? - Comments

@ ebonyhailey
Thank you for reading. you are helping me out a lot. I have to get back in the swing of writing again and im still trying to get everything right from where I left off with my writings. but I will use what you told me in future chapters so thank you

Okay, the first thing you need to do is space your paragraphs better. If you're writing this on word, like I suspect you are, add an extra line between your paragraphs. Your writing seems to be more telling than letting the story unfold, which you should let it do. I think it is better to let the reader figure it out than to explain everything, or if you really feel the need to explain it, slot it in slyly. Sure it clears up mistakes, but it turns people off sometimes. A tad bit of grammatical editing needs to be done as well, just a few misplaced things that disrupt the flow of reading. Otherwise your story is pretty interesting, even though I have no idea who it's about haha. Good luck with future chapters! xx