Lies - Comments

This was very descriptive and very metaphorical. While I don't have asthma, I think you did a very good job of describing how it feels.

I also like how you tied in the setting of this story. While it may have been your intention (or it may not have been), I liked how it correlated with high school and the narrator's last taste of "freedom." I felt like it added a whole other element to this little drabble, with maybe even a hint of symbolism? Regardless, very well done indeed.

This is such a great drabble. The monster was described so well and I really felt sympathetic come the end of the piece. Great job!

I love this drabble so much that I'm going to feature it in my drabble column in the Mibba Magazine

I was very intrigued by this. I loved how illness is personified as a monster – because that's exactly what it can feel like, a heavy weight on you, something that is out of control despite your best efforts to calm and beat it. The way it speaks to him almost comes across as if it has turned itself into his very conscience. I hope one day Gabe can beat the monster. :)