Blood Money - Comments

I love everything about this.

Summary / Layout

How did you do that with the banner?!? Trés cool. I love it. Your summary (coupled with the title) paint this story as right up my street, so I'm looking forward to reading this!

Content

"We're just recycling life,"

I'm sorry, but can I just stop for a moment to appreciate that phrase? It's so warped and cold and...wow. I love it. That line pretty much sums up the entire story for me. I adore it.

I was so confused when I first started reading this, but that cleared up really quickly. Honestly, I like that about this story. I'm a sucker for puzzles and from the get-go, this seemed like one I had to solve for myself by reading on. When everything started coming together, I was seriously applauding your plot. It's so unique and different and weird, but it's wonderful all the same. To me, Ruby and Jasper are sitting on the very fine line between being vigilantes and being seriously fucked-up in the head and that's delightful to read, it really is. Ruby's constantly-changing characters are really enchanting and wonderful and honestly, even from the beginning Shiva really intrigued me. I guess it's that weird human reaction to something curious, but I actually want to see Shiva in action properly.

Another thing I like about this is that it doesn't seem to be in chronological order. That's a really difficult way to write, and it's even more difficult to pull off, but you've done it wonderfully here. It just adds to the mystery of everything in this piece and makes it even more of a puzzle. I adore that about this story, seriously. It makes me think.

And that ending. My, oh my. I don't think I could have pulled anything like that off myself, it's simply amazing. I wouldn't have ever imagined that, and I didn't catch on until you started revealing everything in the final chapter. You executed that absolutely amazingly.

Overall

This is a complete mindfuck of a story, but in a good way. It's beautifully written - I'm quite jealous of the way you balance description and dialogue whilst still being able to tell us exactly what's going on inside Opal's head - and it kept me hooked from start to finish. Absolutely incredible read, great job!

@ rogue intrigue
wow, thank you! i'm so so happy you enjoyed it. i'm not used to writing twists like that so i'm really glad to hear your response to it!

I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT ENDING!!! Ahh, this was a super interesting story to read. It all tied back together in the end and it was great. Words and things and I can't think right now because I'm really tired. Wow. I'm so happy I stumbled across this - you really did an amazing job on this <3

I bloody loved this story from start to finish. Masterful xxx

I love everything about this. Was a bit sad to see the finale, but the most important thing about art is knowing when to call it quits. Excellent work.

Still amazing, youve got me hooked like a fish. This really shiuld have more recs, its phenomenal.

this is so good, im going to be super bummed when it's over.

@ dyke
thank you so much! i'm so glad you're enjoying it! :)

This is really quite fantastic.
I don't read much on Mibba and I'm not exactly sure how I came across this but it's very interesting and well written. I'm happy to have found it and got something interesting to read, I adore it, I love it, it's something so unique and so enticing. Good job.

@ sodapop curtis
Beautiful chapter. I love the description of Shiva X

@ sodapop curtis
All i could think was my god, this is amazing. That was actially my first thought, that you should write screenplays, so i def believe strange minds think alike. You'll make a brilliant one.

@ Videl
oh my gosh, wow, thank you! i'm actually really glad you said that because i'm studying to be a film director/screenwriter and i was thinking of turning this into a screenplay someday!

also, we're eerily in sync, i had folie a deux in mind while writing this as well. strange minds think alike?

This could be a movie; you've painted an absolutely astounding, vivid image in my head. The word choice and placement, the POV of the character, and the plot. As i read this I'm listening to folie a deux, and its absolutely perfect.

I just began reading this, and holy shit, forgive my lack of adjectives at this point because this is absolutely amazing.

@ Bonessir
wow, thank you so much! i'm glad you caught onto that because i tried my best to make it as clear as possible without being too blatant about it. (even though it does get explicitly revealed in the next chapter. shh, don't tell anyone )

How does this story not have more comments?
This is one of the best pieces I have read on here so far. I like the narrative and the use of dissociative identity. I also really love the way you go from past to present, I could really see them running across the bodies like a little movie in my mind. x

How does this story not have more comments?
This is one of the best pieces I have read on here so far. I like the narrative and the use of dissociative identity. I also really love the way you go from past to present, I could really see them running across the bodies like a little movie in my mind. x

How does this story not have more comments?
This is one of the best pieces I have read on here so far. I like the narrative and the use of dissociative identity. I also really love the way you go from past to present, I could really see them running across the bodies like a little movie in my mind. x

@ rogue intrigue
thank you so much! truthfully, i've never written anything like it, so i'm glad it's being received well! hopefully that confusion should clear up within the next few chapters, though i do admit the premise itself is a little complex. anyway, thank you! :)