Colours of Insanity - Comments

@ casablancas;
Thanks!

The imagery in the first chapter is beautiful. I enjoyed this line, in particular:

miracles are not real and love is always beautiful

It's a contradiction and I enjoy that. Someone not believing in miracles but thinking love is beautiful is almost unheard of, so that's very creative.

One grammatical error I notice in the next chapter is the dialogue. This is a mistake people make a lot. For example, you write:

"Never" He replies easily,

There are a few things wrong with this. You need a comma after 'never'. In dialogue, that entire sentence I have up in italics there is just one sentence, so you never put a period after a spoken sentence, but you do need a comma to separate it from the rest of the sentence. Also, 'he' should not be capitalized, because it is in the middle of the sentence. The comma after easily should be a period, since that is where the sentence ends.

So it should read:

"Never," he replies easily.

If he was shouting it would be:

"Never!" he replies easily.

Still don't capitalize the 'he', even though there is an exclamation point, because it is all one sentence. The same goes for question marks.

Other than that, I really enjoy this chapter. Your descriptions of emotions are frank and powerful and you draw really complete characters.

Good job!

@ Rockabella
It's okay :) xxxx

@ TheShiningSoul
Thanks so much!! xx

I love this! The imagery created is tainted, but in some ways, weirdly beautiful, which is an extraordinary asset. I love how you portrayed the love felt by your main character for this boy, who is both a bad and a good influence on her from what I've read so far. As he taught her about true love and beauty, but also about death and how to kill. This story is really intriguing and I subscribed so then I can read more when you update! :D xxxx