I love this. I love your first paragraph, the way you refer to brands. It works really well. It has feeling to it, and stories mean nothing if they don't have a feeling. You've also gotten this feeling across in very few words, which is difficult. You write extremely well.
Also, your creative writing teacher is silly because I didn't notice the repetition, and sometimes you have to repeat things.
Also, your creative writing teacher is silly because I didn't notice the repetition, and sometimes you have to repeat things.