You Fell Into My Lap - Comments

I got to agree with unmade beds. You need a dictionary or something. I liked the story. But I was guessing a lot of the time trying to figure out what you meant to say. Like tong is tongue. Mint is minute. Abreaction is erection. Lessening is listening. Plain is plane. That's just a few.

stayyyyyyyyyy

I live in Alabama so I just thought I should tell you its not ferry swampy out here, but I do love the story

i just found this and really like it so far, its different from most other stories and i like that it has a stalker twist. though take more time with your writing you have quite a few silly spelling mistakes that make it look like your rushing, id go over it and try to fix those up. but i really look forward to seeing where you take this :)

@ LucyGonzalez
I read a lot, I got 134 books so far and I get books from the library lot of times. I'm not really use to writing a story like this, so I'm trying to figure it all out and slow it down a little bit with the chapter I'm working on right now.

You have the workings for a great story, the problem is your going to fast. Your not letting the characters or the relationships between the characters develop in a way to captivate the reader. Have you read any good books lately? Try thinking about this story as a book you would want to read.
But i honestly like it cause i can see were your going with, keep writing ya?