Dæmon Friends - Comments

I liked this chapter. I want to know more about her powers and all.

@ TBPFelton18
Yeay Thank You :3

Yay Sayuri! I'm excited to read more on your story. If you have any questions about Sayuri, you know I'll be happy to answer. :) I like your story so far.

@ charity_hope
thanks for the advice!
It's my first time writhing a fanfiction, that's why I wrote it that way. X)
But anyway thank you!

Yu Yu Hakusho was one of my most favorite anime when I was younger!

I suggest you leave the spacing after each paragraph because it is a bit hard to read and just seems like a block of words. For example,

'Gee, that was strange,' she said to herself.
She crossed the street, and saw the guy again.
Iruya's eyes widen. Who was that man? Something's wrong.
She walked near the guy and said,
'Excuse me sir.'
The man looked at her and didn't seemed to be creepy. He had a charming smile with green eyes and a long, red hair.
'Yes?' he asked.

You should probably do something like this :

'Gee, that was strange,' she said to herself.

She crossed the street, and saw the guy again.

Iruya's eyes widen. Who was that man? Something's wrong.

She walked near the guy and said,

'Excuse me sir.'

The man looked at her and didn't seemed to be creepy. He had a charming smile with green eyes and a long, red hair.

'Yes?' he asked.

And probably a little bit more description about the surrounding would be better. Other than that, this seems like an interesting story. ^_^

First comment! Hehe I'm interested in seeing where you go with this story and I think Iruya(really sorry if I spelt that wrong) creeped Shuichi out a bit. Haha :)