Stubborn - Comments

Gorgeous banner! I love the colors and I think it works well. The layout is simplistic and doesn't contrast or anything, though I think some of your other layouts have been a little... well, not better, but just... more fitted, maybe? I'unno. The layout's not bad, it's just not my favorite from all of yours. ^^ I do love the title though; I'm a sucker for one-word titles, and this one already peaks my interest. The summary obviously meshes well with the title, and I like how simple and straight-forward it is. It does leave me interested in this Kyoya guy, and there's still some mystery around what the story will be on. Why is he stubborn? In what ways?

I think your opening line could have been just a bit stronger, only because it's a little too much like the summary while not actually being a direct quote. I think it might've been better to go a completely different route or just quote the summary here. That said, it's definitely not bad by any means!

I like the modification you made by saying that his wife was the only exception. That's cute!

It's actually passed that you want, not past, for the record. Small difference, but yeah. And, again, you might want to check the dialogue rules, but obviously that's a small detail and it doesn't really detract from the story at all, so no real worries there.

Haha, I loved when he just pointed to a random spot on the map; that's such a guy thing to do, unwilling to admit that he's lost. And you're very much correct; he is a stubborn man!

And, haha, of course I love her little threat. Of course that gets him to promptly stop the car. xD Again, what a guy thing to do!

The ending is nice and really brings the whole thing full-circle. I'm a fan of that kind of framing in stories, so I was super thrilled to see you end that way. ^^

Title/Layout/Summary: The title is short and to the point, it sounds like it'll be a bit point-blank in the story. :) It goes along right with the summary. I think the layout could use a little work. Just the background color though, it doesn't really fit with the picture and is a little distracting.

Grammar/Spell Check/Improvements: I think you could take out "stubborn" in the phrase "could change his stubborn mind" because by saying "nothing and no one" could change his mind, it's already implying that Kyoya is stubborn.

"to stubborn" needs to be changed to "too"

Opening: You use your summary line as the opening line. That's good. It gets straight to the point like I mentioned before.

Ending: I like how the wife threatens him by saying he won't be getting anything from her in a very long time. That's funny.

Favorite Line: He promptly stopped the car and with a deep growl he got out to go ask for directions.

Other Thoughts: Like your previous story "In The End", the characters use a lot of facial expressions and use a lot of different words for "said". That's not a bad thing, again, it's just a little excessive to me. Overall I liked this little scene.

I found myself giggling when I read this.

I love the fact that his wife is the only one who knows how to 'talk' to him. Really adorable! A little more cheeky fight wouldn't hurt, tho

this is the cutest thing ever! i love the interaction between kyoya & his wife. + that little tidbit on how if he didn't stop & ask, he wouldn't be getting anything. that was hilarious. & i love how even tho he is stubborn & doesn't want to ask for directions, he does it bc i'm assuming one: he doesn't want to miss out on fun & two: bc he's in love. kyeopta~!

“Kyoya, stop the car and ask for directions,” Her voice lowers with each word “or you’ll find yourself not getting anything from me for a long time.” She threatened.

So that's how you get a man to put his pride away to ask for directions. x'D
Too cute.