Neurosis - Comments

The opening to the story was marvelous and the way like someone else said, it seems to immediately jump into action, was also marvelous. Although this typically wouldn't be my cup of tea I did enjoy the chapters I read. The flow of everything was nice and smooth so I didn't see much of anything wrong with it.

My only complaint is the size of the font on the layout because I could barely read it but that could be me because my sight kind of sucks. The layout on that note was simply, eye pleasing (besides the font) and went well with the story.

The opening to the story was marvelous and the way like someone else said, it seems to immediately jump into action, was also marvelous. Although this typically wouldn't be my cup of tea I did enjoy the chapters I read. The flow of everything was nice and smooth so I didn't see much of anything wrong with it.

My only complaint is the size of the font on the layout because I could barely read it but that could be me because my sight kind of sucks. The layout on that note was simply, eye pleasing (besides the font) and went well with the story.

I have to say the way you opened the story. It's very interesting, and it jumps into the action which is a good thing. I like it when it starts off with action because it really grabs my attention.

The description in the story is really well put in there. There isn't too much, and there isn't too little. It's in the Goldielock's zone. Does that even make sense? It's just right is what I'm trying to say.

I am going to admit that I'm not the biggest fan of paranormal because it really makes me be a bit uneasy, but this is really good and well-written. I have to say that this is an amazing story, and I really want to know where else it goes.

I have to say the way you opened the story. It's very interesting, and it jumps into the action which is a good thing. I like it when it starts off with action because it really grabs my attention.

The description in the story is really well put in there. There isn't too much, and there isn't too little. It's in the Goldielock's zone. Does that even make sense? It's just right is what I'm trying to say.

I am going to admit that I'm not the biggest fan of paranormal because it really makes me be a bit uneasy, but this is really good and well-written. I have to say that this is an amazing story, and I really want to know where else it goes.

I have to say the way you opened the story. It's very interesting, and it jumps into the action which is a good thing. I like it when it starts off with action because it really grabs my attention.

The description in the story is really well put in there. There isn't too much, and there isn't too little. It's in the Goldielock's zone. Does that even make sense? It's just right is what I'm trying to say.

I am going to admit that I'm not the biggest fan of paranormal because it really makes me be a bit uneasy, but this is really good and well-written. I have to say that this is an amazing story, and I really want to know where else it goes.

I read the first two chapters of this.

I like the plot. I'm a fan of mystery, horror and supernatural. There's mystery from the start, and the story starts with a bang. The tone for the story is set straight away, and Jenissi and Sehyuk are well rounded characters from the beginning. The first chapter was creepy in a good way, especially when the children could hear voices telling them about killing babies.

The second chapter was good. Jay is an interesting character, who obviously has a harsh home life on top of being tormented by a demon. She's beginning to question her own sanity, and lives in perpetual fear which makes the chapter heartbreaking to read, although it's nice that she has Kim to believe in her.

I think you have a great plot, and while I think you are a good writer, your style isn't something I normally read so I found this a little hard to get into. This is a great story though!

This layout is so beautiful. Like, I love the floral pattern at the top against the black background. They compliment the banner really well and I prefer simple looking layouts to busy ones anyway.

I'm unfamiliar with the Toppdogg fandom, but that shouldn't limit my understanding of the story, I don't think. I like that this starts off with delving into a relationship between Jenissi and Sehyuk, I get a bit of a sweet and sour vibe from their differing personalities. They're relationship is still quite sweet though, with Sheyuk being so caring, and Jenissi knowing it.

I love dark fantasy stories - like in American Horror Story - so I can tell I'm going to love this. The way it's written is so fantastically vivid, I can see it all playing out just like the cases in the earlier seasons of Supernatural.

The way Jenissi and Sehyuk seemed to swap roles when they went inside the house was great. This first chapter is giving a sense of both the sensitive and distant sides of both characters, and it's refreshing from the more one-sided characters that sneak their way into a lot of fiction.

So much is going on, I love it. I can't wait for more, but I'm super busy today so I'm just going to comment on the first chapter. I will be back here soon though, and I can't wait to find out what happens next.

You wrote the exorcism so well! I could picture everything happening like it was a movie or something. What is with demons and breaking bones? -.-"
When Gohn showed up... Wow, just wow. He's one demon you do not want to anger. also his horns sound cool, just saying When he banished Hojoon- the way you described it was amazing! & when jay- sorry, minjoo- and jenissi were in the shower, the scene was so sweet and touching.

The exorcism was traumatizing and I don't think I'll sleep much tonight. o.o But Jay doesn't give herself credit; she did better than she thinks, imo. And poor Taeyang(I'm drawing a blank on his J name at the moment ) feeling the same way she does, but he did what he could! That last scene with them was so sweet. Hopefully, they can find more strength in each other. <3

Oh, my GOD! This was fantastic. Seriously. You approached the exorcism scene and nailed it! I could visualize everything, and it was so intense, I was on the edge of my seat!!!!!! It's good that Jenissi is opening up to her and giving her an outlet as well. The shower scene So beautiful. The final line was just...perfect.

Swap-a-ma-bob

Wow.. okay so I have been wanting to get into the mystery genre and I think you have basically nailed it. Your descriptions are fantastic. The dialogue isn't overwhelming which is great since you have a lot in there, but it doesn't take over the story. You keep it flowing which is a great skill to have.

I really like how you also are writing in third person but this distinct voice comes through. I am usually not into the horror genre but even so this gave me chills from the creepy aspect AND because of how well it was set up. Also your characters are bright, funny, witty, and refreshing which is a great contrast to this genre.

and OMG that last sentence. Stop this is really really great and I am subscribing and you are very far along but I will constantly be coming back. So good job!

Falling behind on so many subscriptions damn

Seven

Holy crap. I don't even know what to say about this chapter. It was soooo intense! Between everything Gohn/Dongsung was saying and when Jenissi freaking burnt him to a crisp! Just wowwwww.

Eight

This chapter was so nice omg. With Jay getting baptized and talking to God omg, I had a lot of emotions??? I'm so happy for her though! I have become attached to her so when she is happy, I am happy!

Of course my second favorite part was talk of B-Joo in booty shorts. I mean could you imagine him being Tarzan but with his current, poodle-headed perm?!

I like this story, I like stories with mysterious mystical forces, I've never actually watched American Horror Stories except for a bit of Coven, but I liked this, especially how it ended on the prologue it almost felt like I was watching a tv show and it turned off right at the climax so you'd want to watch the next episode.

Love <3

Okay, first. I really like the layout. It's simple, but cute and not too distracting. And the title is really interesting.

Okay, so the first chapter is really interesting. I was kind of confused at first, but then I got more into it. I really like your use of vocabulary and dialogue. I think you did really well!

oH SNAP
wait omg
sehyuk u so sassy why
omg
wait
sign
WHAT'S A SIGN WHAT'S GOING ON OH GOSH
so curious rn
sehyuk why don't you make me me ur #1 priority huh
smh
showtime baby
does that mean you're stripping
pls
typical kids
puh-LEASE
what happened during the last case
WHAT HAPPENED TO MY BABIES
oh gosh park family
OH GOLLY
curious of the handsome investigators
y'all can investigate me anytime u want ok
yo don't kill the baby dude
DON'T KILL THE BABY
wait
what's the it
what is it
omg
plot twwwiiiisssttt
wow um basically first off u know i love you so how can i even give you a fair review like ugh EVERYTHING YOU WRITE IS SO PERF AND CRAY AND JUST LIKE
damn
you know?
like. omg. i don't even really like stories like this because it's like um ew hello but you write it so well that it's like wow this isn't half bad at all so yanno wut KUDOS TO YOU PAL FOR GETTING ME OUTTA MY COMFORT ZONE
um
i don't have any thing really bad to say like critique wise - your story seems to have a really interesting and decent flow and there aren't many things that i can really nitpick at, besides some light and very minor editing changes, but that happens to everyone so it's really nbd. um.
what else?
THE FEELS
all the feels
cascading at once
i have so many brotps
all the brotps
hope u r happy and satisfied pal
now if you'll excuse me, i have a rec blog to write~~~

oops it posted by accident
UH DUDE
american horror story
that was my life
right okay well uh i'm going to just include your reaction thing in your blog but um this is very well written and is giving me a double case a feelings because K POP
toppdogg
can i get a hell yeah
*chorus sings hell yeah*
I'M SO EXCITED FOR THIS BYEEE
(also subscribing to the sequel too bc UGH SEQUELS GIMME LIFE)
like this gif

SCREAMING OH MY GOSH KPOP FICS ARE MY LIFEEEE

Omg I don't know why, but I squealed when Byungjoo was in her room in the morning! (Isn't that how we all want to be woken up though) and who hasn't thought of Seogoong bending them over a desk

I can definitely see Kidoh as a vampire; his pale skin and big eyes really fit. Not that I usually associate vampires and big eyes but still.

Omg I laughed so much at "drunk" Jay. I also accidentally whispered that I wanted Jenissi's icing but that's not the point. I still love Jay's character and for some reason, I think a lot about X-Men when the school and stuff is mentioned (I like X-Men though so that's a good thing!)

I can't wait for when Jay has to finally face off against Gohn though!

I swear, this just gets better with every chapter