I miss this story when are you going to update it again
July 17th, 2014 at 02:35am
Pretty decent start and is fairly cute. Leah is pretty adorable and actually decently written. Danielle is too. Bruce is written okay, but I'm also ridiculously picky about my superheroes.
That being said, remember that correct grammar is required on this site. The even chapters seem to be fine, but double check the capitalization and punctuation in the odd chapters.
Also, per mibba rules, remember that links are not allowed in the chapters. Any and all links do need to be moved into the author's note section of each chapter.
That being said, I do have one huge issue with the story and that's how Tony Stark is written. First of all, if this is set when they're looking for the tessaract, then he's already with Pepper and he's actually surprisingly faithful to her. Also, the behavior he exhibits in the chapter is not flirting, it's sexual assault. I recommend changing his behavior to obnoxious flirting, at best, but not to ever put his hands on Danielle like that or to say that it's a 'no now but it'll be yes later'.
Also, I recommend discussing the fact that they were able to conceive Leah at all is kind of a miracle since Bruce Banner doesn't just Hulk out because of 'anger'. It's also just an adrenaline response. If his heart rate gets above a certain point, he has the potential to transform. That means sex can trigger him to transform as well.