Harrington Preparatory Academy - Comments

Updates?

@ ceast13
When my computer is working better I plan on updating. I just don't know when that will be.

Where are the updates?

@ ceast13
Probably tomorrow this week was so busy

When are more updates coming? I'm dying here.

I'm continuing my chapter by chapter review here and that's the way I will keep going till the end.

Chapter four:
I like the aspect of the code sentence they will be using in order to fill in Kali with what she had to know about the plan (in order to escape - though it will take months as it seems). The sentence, "I used to go here too" could be tricky though. What if a customer comes who isn't in the plan says the same thing? That would be horrible but a good turn for your story. I just gave you an idea. *hint - hint*

Okay, she tried to make friends with her roommates but honestly they asked for it! Kali did the right thing, I would have done the same if the people I want to friend were speaking to me like this. You need to exercise on writing fighting scenes while making your readers interested in them, and writing them as a bit more detailed.

" Not even curious who it was that saved you?" The male voice asked and she finally turned and looked and smiled and gave him a hug.
" What the fuck are you doing here?" She asked him happy to see him.
I can't help but wonder. Who the hell is he????

Chapter five:
Jeremy is a teacher there now? Awesome! Of course he will be the inside man, great!

He shook his head " No it's like he's disappeared, goes to show how much he cares about you" He mumbled.
" He cares about me more then you think he does" She told him.
" Is that why Max is making a plan to save you and he has vanished?" He asked her with an eye roll.
I understand why Jeremy is defending his friend, afterall Max still loves her, but I also understand why Kali is defending James. She is in love with him and she knows he would have helped her already if he could.

PAUL!!! Please kill that guy. I hate him. I'd honestly kill him and go to jail instead. I'm glad Jeremy helped her out in time, glad he's a teacher. And I hope to see Damion escaping as well. He seems like a good and sensitive guy. I like him.

Chapter six:
It's been so long since I last read the story that I don't remember the names of a few characters. I don't get why Kali wouldn't be friends with them if Jeemy couldn't protect them. So thanks to a higher up Kali gets to be on the top floor, I wonder what that means.

Chapter seven:
How is she really protecting herself? I can't really see that.

Chapter eight:
That was a very nice turn of events. Kali is a mentor now, and I am wondering how the mentoring will go. As for the new boy (the one she will be mentoring), he knows about James, that really makes me wonder. Maybe his brother??? Post soon.

-Maria.

@ ceast13
Yeah me too

Finally I was dying here. Good chapter and glad to see that the rut is over.

@ ceast13
I'm trying to figure out what to post next

Why no more updates?

An escape plan oh my this sounds interesting.

I am really liking this new story. But so many people in one room. That's different.

Like with the prequel, I will be reviewing this piece chapter by chapter.

Layout:
I will make something good for it so don't worry about it!

Summary:
The summary isn't really picking up my interest but seeing as I know the story will be better than that, I'll keep on reading. How typical of me? LOL Okay, I'm gonna stop joking, seriously, I believe that you could come up with something that will get the readers attention. Don't be afraid, just do it sweets! I'm encouraging you here, don't let it go to waste.

Chapter one:
Life at the academy without her boyfriend and Kelly who's in coma is gonna be tough! What about her roommate from last year? I wonder.

I liked that you mentioned how Max must have felt when it was her first year and he couldn't say anything to her. It really gave to the story a good feel of reality. I wonder what will happen to the twins and if they will be Kali's friends.

Chapter two:
" Jenny, Kimberly, Jackie, Hannah, Merdith, Laura"
You have to change that part. You have to slowly describe each girl and what Kali thought of them to give them a nice touch.

So the academy takes overweight girls now? You should have stated the difference in the first chapter as something that Kali found starnge, amusing or whatever. That was wrong.

Addicting? An orgy? Nah, I don't think so.

So, the new girls want to fuck Kali, unbelievable.

Um, I think you haven't thought-out well this chapter. It must be because you took a while to update and have forgotten of details? Or something like that. Don't push yourself to write because the outcome won't be good hun.

Justin is there, great! Tat's something to smile at.

Justin's behaviour was hilarious but different from how he was in the prequel. You might want to change that. And he actually thought she wanted to have a relationship with him? Um...no-no. This isn't really working.

So Hannah willd o if Kali is horny? You have turned Kali to a little whore I could kind of forgive her in the prequel with the attraction she felt for the boys and whatever happened then, but this? No.

And then it turned to an orgy, I mean what? And Justin's response again was weird.

I really don't know what you're thinking of this project but it doesn't work out. You better give us more details of Kali's thoughts in order to fix it up.

Chapter three:
I like the way you started this. It was a part that was needed for the second year in that academy.

Justin was laying on his bed clearly just out of the shower and quickly covered himself with a blanket " Dude I'm naked" He said with a blush.
Kali rolled her eyes " I know what you look like idiot" She said with a laugh.
" Yeah but they don't" He said.
I really enjoyed that part. It funny and made me smile.

So, Damon is gay. I wonder how tough it will be for him there.

So Max went to visit her while James couldn't. This could be tricky, but at least he will try to help her. I like the fact that he didn't want to have sex with her even though he paid, kind of shows they have started as good friends. I hope it stays that way.

-Maria.

LOVE IT!!!!!!!