Buried Deep - Comments

//gently touches story becAUSE//

I really love it so far omg
I love all the characters (though Tris and Spencer especially ahaha) and I love the pacing of the story.

It's incredibly easy to read and it's not overwhelming - to be honest I feel like I could read it over and over again c:

Oh my gosh. The summary drew me in immediately and I'm just really glad I read this. Reccing and subscribing.

I like how you don't give us the flashback until later. I love how you start out where Spencer returns home because it made me want to keep reading and it peaked my interest. Like, I was thinking why is Tristan being so distant with her sister? Why was Spencer living in Arizona? I also love the interactions between the sisters you have in the second chapter. I think you brought out their relationship well. It's definitely not your typical sisterly love - especially between identical twins. And then it's just the cherry on top with the third chapter explaining why they're so broken apart and why Spencer was gone for two years. I'm curious as to why she came back and I'm curious what their secrets were that Spencer said she couldn't keep if she stayed.

Update soon.

Okay, I am officially intrigued. First off, I love the summary-- already got me curious about this story. Your layout is lovely as well. I love your descriptions, especially at the beginning about the storm. Adding in the "sticky warmth" really made it for me cause lately all the weather by me is storms and humidity and it's just too hot. Anyway, I really want to know what these secrets are!! You did a great job showing the tension between Spencer and Tris. You can just sense Spencer's a bit unsure of how to go about things and Tris is kind of on edge it seems.

I like the idea of using flashbacks. I think it's a great way to break up the story and show the relationship between Tris and Spencer, prior to Spencer leaving and returning. I was a bit confused as to when the flashback was, but that was cleared up by the end of the chapter.

I honestly have nothing bad to say about this. This seems to be a very promising story and I'm definitely subscribing. I can't wait to see how this story goes!

Okay, wait. Is something up with Cara? Why did Tris get all hard like that at the mention of her? Hmmm.. maybe I'm just thinking too much into it.

Wow, Tris was quit to snap at Aunt Allison. You go, girl. Don't let her talk about your dad like that. OH MY GOSH SHE REALLY WENT FOR IT I'M DYING. RIGHT IN THE GUT.

There we go with the secret talk again. I NEED TO KNOW I NEED TO KNOW. PLEASE DON'T HOLD ONTO YOUR SECRETS ANYMORE SPENCER. JUST TELL ME WHAT IT IS IT WILL BE OKAY I SWEAR.

Oh my gosh she did not just leave. She left

YES! I'm am so interested/invested in this story already. You write beautifully. Enough to be descriptive and striking. But also letting my imagination make things up on its own. I love it.

Tris totally hates Spencer. That last line just made me sure of it. Ugh the suspense is killing me! You can just tell that they were so close and like I need to know what happened to make Tris hate Spencer. WHY, TRIS??? WHY?? I NEED TO KNOW.

I must say I really loved your description in the first paragraph. It was lovely. It's been really storming lately where I'm from so I can totally relate It definitely sets the scene for some most likely ominous things to come.

I had no idea they were identical twins, and I loved the way you eased into it by talking about her seeing her reflection first. It was a nice little transition instead of going straight into the exposition.

You can feel the tension between Tris and Spencer immediately, and I love it. It gives a sense that there is something going on there without shoving it in your face right away. I'm curious as to if the sisters left on good terms or not, or if something happened while Spencer was away.

The last line definitely gave off a very creepy vibe. I'm wondering what's going on with those two, what exactly Tris's feelings about Spencer are, and what happened to make her feel that way. It was definitely a very ominous ending, and I think it's a great way to turn a reader into a subscriber, because I'm dying to know what's going on now! This was an absolutely amazing first chapter, and I really think you need to write more so I can know what's happening with these potentially creepy sisters! I have to know what their secrets are!