In Memories We Trust - Comments

haha, its ok.
i dunno.
maybe you'll just have to wait and see!

heyy, I caught up :]
I really like where it's going. So now she's living with Brian..
in like a broken down house...what will happen next?
Will she get close to Brian...dun dun dunnnn :]
hehe. sorry hadda say it.
anyway nice updates!! can't wait for more!

wow, that was great advice. exactly what i needed, and i see where you're coming from with your critiques.

Thanks again, it was perfect; exacatly what i was looking for. And now off to comment yours

I've seen your request in The Cult Thread so I decided to give it a shot.
I'm not sorry I did, even though I did find some things I disliked.
So, I'll start with those:
Nothing big, but you should proof-read your updates before you post them, I found some typos and grammar-errors, the biggest of them being the fact you confused you're, as a verb form, with your, as a possessive pronoun.

Style-wise, the narration was basically okay, the dream sequence exquisite, but there were some things, like the constant repetition of the e.g. 'my bed' 'my earphones'... Try putting 'the' in the places you can, instead of 'my' - it helps the dynamics.

Also, try not to narrate too much - I mean that in the sense that some thing should only be implied through the actions of the protagonist, so Razz doesn't have to say everything.

You really have some talent on your hands, it just needs developing and you're doing it well so far. The emotions you managed to convey were amazing and the bond between the two friends is really well-portrayed.

Keep it up.

thanks so much, guys

I love it
keep up the good work

awesome update!
:[ sad, but amazing.
keep up the good work!!

holy crap.
this is so well written it's amazing.
you're an awesome writer!!
the story line is good and just wow. really good.
can't wait to read more. *subscibes*
keep up the awesomee work!!

I fucking love it! It's good. And also sad. =(

I read the first chapter. It's really good.

Omg. Its fantastic! Sorry it took me so long to comment, I've been on vacation.

good?

:shock:

Great story, love it

Another incredible chapter.

I love the way you form sentences and I cannot wait for the next update.

I can't believe how well you write.

thanks, you too.

very very very good! Im so impressed by you.

aw, shucks. thanks.

:shock:

*is in awe*

Especially during that dream sequence.

*is subscribed*