Vita Mortem - Comments

Stumbled across this on Comment Swap and I love it so far - really convincingly written, and it helps that I'm a massive HP fan anyway :D I love how existing characters have been woven in seamlessly with Scar and Ravan, makes it so believable.

Looking forward to catching up on all the chapters and reading updates! :D

(Ok I must make a note that I'm on Chapter 10)
So far, I'm lovin' it! I really like the concept and I'm definitely gonna come back to this soon!
Scar and Raven are very interesting characters
Keep writing! ♥

Love it so far, just wish the chapters were longer!

And wow i was not expecting angels, i was thinking other totally different things like fairies

Yay! An update! :D I loved this chapter :)

Double post -.-

Triple post. Why Mibba why.

So that it will be brought to your attention. I'll begin the rest of my comment in a separate comment.


George is such a cutie!!!! I already love Scorge. Or Georglet. Georgelet. Most def. (Yes im a hopeless romantic who gets way ahead of myself. Its how my life works.) Silly George. You shouldn't say your fantasies outloud. Especially not when the subject beside them. Haha.
BUCKBEAK! I LOVE THAT THING. Especially since it tried to eat Malfoy. But if he kills Scarlet. I will stop Harry from saving him.


Awe. Yay. She's all happy and smiley. And buckbeaks all lovey and dovey. Stupid like F**kFace. Be nice. Or one day. She won't stop Buckbeak from eating you. Dumb kid. GO RAVAN! ohdang. more death seeing.....


OH!!! Two year difference. Right... Right? My goodness. I just spent 30 minutes researching HP facts to figure out everything. I was like... Lupin wasn't there in the 5th year. Then remembered It wasn't harry's fifth year. Then got thrown off, cause I was like. Buuuut. Lupin wasn't there 4th year. okay. So. back to reading before I go completely crazy.
(I am taking forever. Cause 19 kids and Counting is sooo distracting!!!)
I love Scarlet. Cause she pulls out brainiac funfacts. Like a Boss. (my family gets mad when I use psychology on them...)
OOH! boooooooooooooooooogaaaaaaaaaaaaaaart. I love those. They're so strange. And I just generally love them. Just an interesting way. Oh. yeah... the story. not my enjoyments. Sorry. Off to eleven.


Cupboard. Ever notice how everyone says cubbard? Its strange. Why they're called boards I'm not sure. Furniture is silly! So. Is Ravan like the Wizarding Worlds devil? cause that'd be a M. Night Shyamalan worthy plottwist. :D So. I both want Fred and Ravan. but I don't ... Ya know? Its so. Gah. Hopeless romanticism is a mess.


MNIGHTSHYMALANING IT UP I SEE! Good job. Its a cool twist. Such a lovely fact. Poor Scarletttttttttttt.Sorta.


'Scarlet Wolfe'? pahaha. Wolfe. Sorry. Amusing. Ohgoodness. lol. and. of course. the twins are getting them in trouble, can they do anything else? Oooooh. that serum stuuuff. Its getting real again.


Have i mentioned Wood annoys me? no. Probably not. but he does. hes a little puuunk. There is a typo before the time lapse thing. It says ravan is following ravan. So... Ravan knows? Or just coincidental?


They're such cuties!!!! Jussayin. Now. I'm kind of sad. all this excitement... and no more story... hm... Maybe after you finish I'll come back and do the rest? Sounds like a plan! Whoo! Just make sure to tell me when its completed. :D::D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

I'm sorry it has taken this long. But, it was finals season and CDA time. Most of my free time went to working on something else. But here we are (please ignore any mistypes, I am typing practically one handed, because I'm simultaneously crocheting. :D )

So, the layout. Love it! I'm a fan of the black background thing. And the lighting reminds me of ethereal wings. A ++++++. 5000% hah.


It is set up beautifully. And the actual summary makes the story that much more tempting. Off to read. (and continue overshare commenting.) SIDENOTE: Your author notes are adorable. Jussayin.


So, by the time you brought the girls to their mothers, I already loved the mothers. Aaaand. I absolutely lovelovelovelove! the spelling of Ravan. It's unique.
myohmy. Poor Katie.


Scar and Rae seem like such sweethearts. (and a bit of awkward irony. almost simultaneously with reading about Ravan's enjoyment of the opposite gender, I hit a sore spot on my neck from a guy. Funfun.)


I had to reread the paragraph twice, cause I was like. Why do you call your friend Nova, and why are you such a Hag to her. (Get it. cause... hags are. witches... Not funny? Notfunny. kay.) Ohdang. It just got reeeeeal brah.


ohdang.hogand. Dementors. Getcha butt back to stupid land. 'Whats a sleeping beauty?' Silly silly people.


AWE! THEY'RE THERE! Such cutiepies. BTW. I love the twins. They're like. The pinpoint of a fangirl side. So, thank you(: "Never defeated (except for that one time)." oh such loveliness. Ya know. Just copying and pasting my quote amusements would make so much more sense then errorfilled retyping it.
I love your timelapsy thing. It's cute and wizardy.


Is it just me, or is Nova an obnoxious little lifeblock? (better than a cat being a cockblock, trust me. Sorry. More awkward life comments.) Ohdang. That comment. Shows Wood not to be a punk. Is Ravan just going to end up with everyone in this school? I mean. Sursly.


yay! Trelawney!(?) I don't feel like fixing it if it's wrong. I love that crazy bat lady. (she seems like she'd own a hoard of bats. Wait. what is the group term for bats? Hmmm. Swarm? We'll stick with hoard.) ((oh. its a colony. or a cloud. thats cool. thonk ya google.)) Ravan is so cute and cocky. I feel like shes actually a lesbian. Lol. I mean. come on. Les-be-honest.(Lesbianest?) For the sixtith time this comment, OHDANG!


SO. I have to get ready to leave... So when you notice this, please reply to me so I'll remember to finish it all? PLEASE AND THANK YOU! (or just message me. both works.)

This is so well written and keeps a smile on my face!!! Great job guys! Definitely subbing. Can't wait for more.

Ahh, this is so good. I always love a good Harry Potter fanfiction. Totally subbing.

Hello there! :D

I like how the introduction to the characters was through a conversation between two mothers. When a character in a later chapter asked, "Who's Sleeping Beauty?" it made me wonder if Ravan and Scarlet are muggle-born or not.

Having the second chapter written like letters was a good way to introduce the characters at their present age. One can definitely see the two different personalities between the two.

I have to say, I think Ravan is my favorite character so far. She's hilarious! AND OMG YOU BROUGHT FRED AND GEORGE IN THE STORY! THIS MAKES ME LOVE YOU BOTH!

One suggestion I have is maybe mentioning their ages. I clicked on the character profile by accident but if it wasn't for that I wouldn't know that they were 15.

I really do like this, and I'll be subscribing because I can't wait to see what happens between Ravan and Oliver.

Oh woah there's already a Katie in the first chapter so this already awesome. I liked that you used the mother's conversation to introduce the girls and their differing personalities.

In the letter chapter, make sure that the paragraphs are spaced out properly, so it would look like:

Rae,

Why in Merlin’s name haven’t you written me back? I’m getting worried over here.

Never mind that I’m trapped with my aunt, you didn’t come to visit me?

You’d better be on time for the Leaky Cauldron, or I will be forced to use Rictumsempra on you, and we don’t want a repeat of last time, do we?

Anyway, I hope you’ve had a good summer and that you’ve studied, because we’ve got OWLs this year. I know you don’t know what you want to do in the Wizarding World yet, but you still have to perform well to have all of the options open to you afterwards.

I hope you haven’t flirted too much or broken too many hearts, because once we get back to Hogwarts you’re gonna need to tone it down before McGonagall gives you detention.

And besides, I’d like to have a piece of the romance action this year. God, you’re never going to let me forget this. Don’t go all crazy on me and go introducing me to every single guy in Gryffindor.

Look, just be careful okay? Write to me as soon as you can, don’t disappoint me.

Scar.

[Image]

Scar!

Oh for the love of wizarding Gods, I’m sorry! I forgot to mention I was going to my Grandpop’s for the summer!

Don’t worry though, I’ll be at the Leaky Cauldron like we arranged, I wouldn’t miss it for the world. Literally. Like, even if the world was exploding, you’ll still find me at the Leaky Cauldron, okay?

Studied? Do you know who you’re talking to Scar? Of course I did… not!

I had better things to do, like flirt with the guy next door. Scar, you should have seen him, so hot!

Don’t worry Scar, we’ll find you a man this year, but I’m only introducing you to the cute boys.

Pops wants me to go back to learning about my family heritage so I’ll write to you later if I have the chance, if not then I’ll see you in a few days.

Scar, I feel like this year is the year that everything changes!

Love, Rae.

Other than that, this story is off to a great start so far! I have faith that you girls will get this awesome thing going soon enough!