Tim, I Wish You Were Born a Girl - Comments

I like the relationship between Tim and Max and I like how everything is narrated from Max's perspective so we get a glimpse into how he's feeling about the whole situation. It's really cute how protective Max is of his best friend.

I do agree with the comment before me about the narration feeling stiff, though. It feels like Max is almost robotic, which makes it difficult to relate to the character, if that makes sense. You can tell that Max is protective over Tim because of the things he says, but he doesn't feel like he has a lot of emotion to him. Other than when he says he's angry or whatever.

The plot itself is really interesting and I like the characters, but adding a bit more personality to them and getting us to relate would just make it that much better!

The tone is a little stiff and unnatural. Using contractions would help a lot. If you want to write in first person, I recommend spending some time figuring out how Max actually talks, both out loud and in his head. I also think the chapters are jarringly short.

Overall, I like it a lot, but it needs a little more flow and personality. =)

well to kick things off Tim reminds me too much of my best friend Luis. I feel the story is well written and I can feel Max's growing love for what he sees as only his best friend but I can tell he's going to be kissing him and it's going to turn into a beautiful love story between best friends. please continue

So, for starters, I went to read this while the show was full of gay sex jokes. Not relevant to the story, but the world needed to know. And I'm about to smack Chubs, still not relevant but ya know.

Chapter One Comments

So, Tim's hair sounds like mine! Won't straighten. Adorable creatures, semibad at gaming? Are you sure Tim isn't me? Is this your way of confessing your undying love for me? It is, isn't it?!? Dating life not so similar though. I don't date attractive people, and very rarely date. So, maybe its not your undying love story for me. Lame.

Chapter Two Comments

I totally understand the not connecting to the gender thing. I act manly sometimes! 'I don't tell Tim this though, cause I'm a man' Stupid "man". HE CAN STILL TELL HIS BEST FRIEND THAT HE IS TOO GOOD FOR THOSE A**HOLES! stupid. stand up for your friend.

Chapter Three Comments

CHUBS BROUGHT ME CHARLES!!!! GOOD CHUBBSY! Go join the cuddle pack!
So, Maxxxxxy isn't cute? that's cool. Lololoololol. Sucks to be him! Ha. Even the gay guy won't hit on him. Hahahahahaha. Sorry. Well. Isn't someone full of themselves. I'd call him a cocky sonnnabitch. Buuut. He's not gay, so I'll keep the cocky term out of it. Awe. Look at Max being all in love!!!!!!!!!! ohwait. not gaylololol. Love doesn't have a time frame, stupid. Just cause you're jealous doesn't mean that you need to insult his love-falling-ining.

Chapter Four Comments

CHARLES IS SO CUTE AND WABBLY! but. i will hold him upsidedown if I want to Abraham.
Why can't Tim be dating Degrassi Adam(aside that Adam isn't gay and hes dead.) This Adam is worse than a friggin shark. TIM DICKS OVER PRICKS! DICKS OVER PRICKS! BROS BEFORE MANHOES! BROS BEFORE MANHOES! Get it? Stay with Max, not DummyMcDummyBurger.