Time Stands Still - Comments

Annnd once again, I’m here to judge for the ‘Pick and Choose’ contest, heh.

This was such a sweet and pure one-shot! I’m so unacquainted with fluff pieces (mostly because of personal preference, oops) that I kept waiting for angst, like Ben leaving her at the altar or her getting cold feet. It was actually strangely refreshing to read something that was just truly that wholesome and just full of happiness?

I loved how you intertwined their history with each other into the anxiety of the wedding. You did it in such a way that it flowed into the content really well and I was given a thorough backstory without being bored. I was even given that in Elise’s friends and family. It made it personal and easier for me to get on their level, so to speak. I also really appreciated the nervous jitters because it was realistic and, I’m sure, relatable. The “something old, something new” thing was bother endearing and hilarious! I liked the sense of family there was to it all. Your entire pre-wedding and reception scenes were also very eloquently detailed, which made it very immersing. And it was a little detail, but I was slightly amused that all the Kent children had E names like their mother.

However, I would definitely recommend that you break paragraphs up. It was kind of off-putting for the first paragraph to be one of the biggest, and there were definitely some points in that paragraph alone where you could break it into separate ones. It almost reads like one big run-on sentence because it’s this huge block of text. There are a few points where this happened and it was like putting a halt on an otherwise flowing story. The first paragraph and Preston’s speech are the first two that come to mind. On top of that, there were some points where you could have used a period instead of a comma because a brief pause made it sound awkward—and once again, it creates actual run-on sentences that get kinda distracting.

And there was one small spelling error that stood out glaringly: The veil only fell over the back of her hair, so she wouldn't hae to cover her face.

Other than that, this was a really cute one-shot. Great job!

I want to start off by saying I loved the layout for this story. It creates a great environment for the story and is very attractive to the reader's eye. I love the story of their first meeting and the initial development of their relationship. Like, it's certainly fanfiction and that's clear to see, but it's not stereotypical which I greatly appreciate. I really liked how you began with the wedding scene and then went back in time. The wedding is a great attention-grabber and very detailed, which sets the base for an excellent love story. I can't speak from personal experience being only sixteen and dateless, but I think you captured a true love in a very intelligent and intriguing manner. They're great friends first and foremost which makes me love how their relationship stems from that. I'd like to think that this is how the world works for sure. Beautiful story!