Kill the Light - Comments

I don't usually read fan-fictions, but this looks very interesting so far.
Audrina seems like such a nice, understanding person. She's really nice so far and I quite like her. Brian's very well-spoken, and I wonder how he will turn out. He's quite mysterious in this chapter. I'm looking forwards to discovering why he reacted the way he did at the end of the chapter.
You have a nice writing style; everything flows nicely and the descriptions are beautiful.
I didn't really notice any mistakes, so that's always a plus. The story is really good, and the characters are interesting.
I do like how Audrina decided that since he was acting odd he was best to try and avoid. Many of the stories I've read would have had the main character decide to forget the guy's strangeness just because he's attractive, so this was a nice change.

Erg! Brian is so complex! Lol, I like how you've written his character, and since it's a fanfiction I don't know who he is in real life, but I'm using my imagination, and he's pretty cool, with his shades and such Ok, I like how you kicked off the first chapter, it was simple, and right off, there's a bit of mystery. And when he sits down at her table and suddenly asks her to go on a date with him, how you described what was happening in the scene is amazing. I also liked the part when he materialized in the book store lol, it reminded me of a less-jerk-ish version of Edward from Twilight. Brian was all chill about it, Edward was very "Stay away from me, but I want to be near you." about it (I may or may not be making any sense at this point) And the part with 50 Shades was clever haha. Anyways, I've subbed and recced, and I can't wait for the next update. Great job!

I am very interested to see where this is going cant wait for an update

Stupid Me, I didn't hit the subscribe button after reading Chapter One so I didn't know you updated this!!! I hit it this time...

Anyways. I am fully intrigued. I want to know more... And considering this is you, and I can normally get inside your head, I'm annoyed that I can't. There are so many scenario's going through my head right now, thanks to your beautiful writing.

More... PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

<3 U

I can't wait to see what happens on their dinner date! Please keep going! Update soon!

Comment swap: I am not one to read or either write fan fiction, but this is one of the main reasons I like comment swapping. You get to read stuff you'd never read otherwise

I truly love the start of this story. You really get a good feel of Audrina and get to know and understand her. I do believe she is somewhat of a fortune teller because she thought he had an emergency and guess what he did haha. Your descriptions are good and the flow of your writing is easily followed. It is a good read.

There is an interesting contradiction between her positive outlook on life and her fascination with bones and skulls.

I truly like this sentence: He had them held captive behind a black pair of sunglasses.

Keep writing the way you do, because it's very good. One little word of advice, dont let you characters be always right when they deduct something, just like real people, let them be wrong.

This is a great story! It really grabs you and keeps you wanting more. Can't wait for an update!

Loving the story so far mandiedoll!! U keep my attention. Can't wait for more!!

awww I loved this chapter!! I think it had a bit of everything.. suspense, funny moments, cute moments, tense moments!! so yeaah awesome! :) can't wait for a new update

Comment swap

Ugh. I hate you. How dare you create another wonderful writing piece. You're trying to make me explode, Mandie. Ugh, I love you.

I'm just gonna go ahead and get this out of the way. If Brian Elwin Haner Jr. was popping up at places I was at and kept asking me out on dates, I would've said yes a long time ago. In all honesty, I would've bust it wide open for him at the coffee shop. Alas, that's just me being a whore for Bri. I regret nothing though.

Onward.

This is just amazing. God, I'm so insanely jealous of how your words flow and come together. How you manage to give us insight to Brian but not entirely reveal everything is fantastic. I like how Audrina isn't like, your typical awkward y'know. Like she had never been around anything with a penis(trust me, I've read some stuff like that. No, just no.) She's believable in the sense that she's social, but still holds back bits of herself.

I like how she isn't crazy about Brian from the jump as well, but she's not like straight up rude to him either. (Again, I've read stuff like that.) It's a good balance, like, omg she's so real and likable.

I love Audrina and Brian's interactions. I just never know what to expect. Brian's so witty and sassy and sexy--I should stop before I begin to ramble on about Brian and not your fantastical story.

I'm so eager to read about their dinner date. I'm so eager to figure out what exactly is Brian's deal. I just wanna know everything!

And the title, you witty little thing you, "Kill the light"
"I have an eye condition that causes them to be sensitive to light. Sunlight is not only an issue, but so is any light." Maybe I'm reading too much into it...but then again, maybe I'm not! Aha!

But I find that so fucking cool and creative. And I demand more updates like Audrina demands coffee *bangs gavel*

@ Lyra
Awwww, thank you, darling! Glad you enjoyed it. I plan to update it tomorrow hopefully!

I love this already. If Syn is what I think he is, this is going to be awesome since I love those kinds of stories! You have me hooked already! Your writing is great as always, and I'm so so excited to see where this goes! I really hope you update soon!

@ xSweet.Afterlifex
Lol well I'll at least tell you it's not a kid nap story this time. Actually this will be the first story I've written covering a certain topic! That's all I'm gonna reveal though. >:) Thanks for commenting and for the suppory.

@ xSweet.Afterlifex
Lol well I'll at least tell you it's not a kid nap story this time. Actually this will be the first story I've written covering a certain topic! That's all I'm gonna reveal though. >:) Thanks for commenting and for the suppory.

Okay wow! LOVED this. lets just say what I said the other night about the title, no longer what pops in my head! Although, now, I'm kinda trying to figure out where you're going with this, because I feel like I know how you work a little bit. (You can still surprise me, I promise) but with how this started, I kinda just, I dunno got this major I dunno sense of Deja Vu.

@ NikkiFoxy8
Thank you! Gonna work on it tonight.

I am officially hooked! Please update soon!

Love this honey!

@ VictoriazMistressA7X
It's okay LOL. Thanks for the comments! =D

it made two comments lol