Surrender - Comments

I loved the update! I can't wait to see what happens on the rollerblading date, at least I hope it's a date. Post more soon!

<3 absolutely adore this already!

I was about to apologize when he cut me off with a smile and said, “This is a little more complicated.

Oh my gosh, I think I hve theory for this story and it might sound ridiculous, but hear me out. Okay, so Liam takes two hours to set up because he has a 'lesson' at eight, and that sounds sketchy. I THINK that he's totally having an affair with an older woman who takes lessons.

Love that Olivia is hanging out with her family and actually interacting, which is sometimes missed in stories. And I think the balance of family
And personal life is well done!

Also, the amount of Liam is perfect! Nothing is being rushed!

Update soon please! I want more Liam!!
I like where all this is going even though her dad is being weird.

I loved the third chapter! I can't wait to see what happens between her and Liam. Post more soon!

“John, put your phone away. We’re here to be a cohesive family one more time before Olivia goes off to college,” she scolded.
^ That made me laugh out loud. I love humor whenever it can be added.

I definitely think chapter two is a much needed chapter since I personally feel like it sets up the story, and it shows her relationship with her family, which is always a plus and makes it more realistic when parents are incorporated into the story.

Yeah, Olivia taking a chance and going to the dance lessons! Alright!

“Don’t worry about it,” he assured me, smiling kindly. “Trust me, you are the prettiest thing that’s touched my ass in a long time. Even if it was an accident.”
^ Again with the humor! Excellent job!

That Dirty Dancing reference! I definitely just imagined that. Middle aged women wanting a whirl wind romance like that.

Three excellent chapters that you perfectly cultivated with your use of imagery and dialogue. It's easy to follow and it flows really well. There's a perfect amount of description in each paragraph.

I love that you're using first person because you pull if off really well and it doesn't sound cliche at all, so definitely keep that up.

Another thing, I love your chapter titles because they're not boring like just using chapter 1, 2, etc. . Just small details that I pick up on!

Anywho, I cannot wait for the next chapter and I will try to comment on time!

I'm very upset that people aren't commenting on this amazing story.

Anywho, I have yet to read chapter two and three, but I'll get to it hopefully tomorrow. And I'll leave a more detailed comment than this one.

But I read chapter one and it just drew me in right away.

Keep up the good work!

LIAM PAYNE WOOHOO
i cannot wait for this :)