Mason Jars. - Comments

@ Human Shapeshifter
Ahhhh! Thank you for the comment. Yeah, I wrote this late last night so there probably are a few minor details I should probably revise. I was thinking about referring to Lily as something other than a girl, and creature came to mind. I believe the term creature can refer to something intimate such as an exotic bird, so he was making that comparison :D! But if it offended you or rubbed you the wrong way, I didn't mean for it to do so.

Wow! I really like the writing going on. Mason seems like a really snarky character. The writing was well-done with a few flow things, but that can be fixed with a look-over. You did a good job with characterization with the small details you put here and there. My only problem was that Mason called Lily a "creature" and that kind of rubbed me the wrong way. It seems a bit demeaning and I would suggest sticking with the plain ole "girl." I hope this helps!