Something that really bothered me was the lack of punctuation. I’m assuming that it’s written this way for a reason, in more of a poetic way, but the lack of punctuation just really bothered me.
Aside from that, this is nicely written drabble. You were able to create a sort of nostalgic but sad mood. I like how it’s more of a reflection. I also like that you were able to build up all this tension and then finally deliver relief at the end. As a reader I felt the relief at the end, although it was a little sad.
Thanks for entering my contest!
July 14th, 2014 at 06:49pm
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Something that really bothered me was the lack of punctuation. I’m assuming that it’s written this way for a reason, in more of a poetic way, but the lack of punctuation just really bothered me.
Aside from that, this is nicely written drabble. You were able to create a sort of nostalgic but sad mood. I like how it’s more of a reflection. I also like that you were able to build up all this tension and then finally deliver relief at the end. As a reader I felt the relief at the end, although it was a little sad.
Thanks for entering my contest!