Please try <a href=https://www.google.com/>Google</a> before asking <a href=https://www.neuesforum24.de/viewtopic.php?f=16&t=185294&p=613778#p613778>Excellent Onlne Casino Guide</a> 1_3904b
September 29th, 2023 at 06:17am
In just the first paragraph alone, you have mingled together a bunch of past and present tense. And I fear that, that might be signs to come. It's difficult to read that way. I'm sure this is a fantastic story, as I keep running into it. Reading it like that, it makes it hard to understand what you're trying to say sometimes.
If you start a sentence in the past tense, it's best to carry that sentence on in the past tense. And the next sentence, and the next. Really the only time I can think of putting past tense in a present tense story is when you are presently discussing the past--- i.e: A character's brief memory.
I'd fuss about commas and all that, but I'm not THAT strict when it comes to online novels-- and I'm in the habit of practicing what a preach, and I rarely use punctuation decently --- like commas and semicolons---on online novels.
I will say this, your main character, from what I've read so far I mean, seems a little....bland. It's like you wanted her to be two characters at once. You wanted her to be the popular pretty girl that the popular guy sought out to be on his arm, and you want her to be the underdog girl who is secretly pretty and doesn't know it---
She was a bit shy and naive, and he was popular, rich and oh so good-looking. Not that she is not pretty, she is, but she just doesn't have the confidence to flaunt it.
Namely in this sentence.
But with him, it's like you honestly can't decide if he's a jerk or not. It's just a fling, he's just using her, but in case you change your mind about that in the future you want to make sure he's the sweetest guy ever. It feels like everything about him is a contradiction. In a single breath he's trying to live two different styles of boyfriend.
But after 23 chapters and ongoing I can tell you're having fun with this----
and listen to this now, listen, that is what's important. Don't you ever, ever, ever, ever, EVER-- hear me? Ever.-- let anyone tell you that you or your writing isn't good enough for you to continue. It doesn't matter that you're writing, so long as you're writing for you and you're enjoying it, and you're loving it. Because if you cave in, and you start feeling like you're not good enough to write- just like anyone has been making you feel--...and you start knocking yourself down too...it is SO hard to get back up.
<3 So I want you to know, that I kindly give criticism, but I am not telling you to give this story up, or that it's not good enough. Because it is good enough, it's good enough for you-- apparently good enough for a LOT of people, because you have a ton of comments, readers, and recommendations.
And hey, you got my attention, right?
You're still a growing, budding, learning artist- and we all are, even people who are best selling authors are learning. And I can look in their books and find mistakes that I grew past a long time ago. And I can find mistakes that I know that lovely people like you and a ton of other people on Mibba would NEVER make.
Anyway, I wish you luck with this story. I hope you keep going. You keep on, and on and on going until it's over. And then, if you want, you keep going after that.
~~ Best Wishes ~~
