Dead Weight - Comments

Wow. This is brilliantly written. I think it describes her final moments in an original way without making it too descriptive or too mysterious. I really liked it.

Wow. This is brilliantly written. I think it describes her final moments in an original way without making it too descriptive or too mysterious. I really liked it.

Hi there,

I think this was interesting; it was certainly not what I was expecting from the title, the layout and summary. But then again, I didn't know what to expect as nothing was really revealed in the three. But what I found was a great read.
I think what I really liked in this piece was the way the girl described and saw this instant. It was very distant and almost slow? As if she was going into a state of shock...I would imagine this is pretty accurate, but I have never been shot up by an arrow to know for certain.

But the way you described the setting and situation was a great way to capture the "moment." You didn't put in a whole lot of detail, just enough. Clearly there is an unknown back story to this girl and "John" but the readers don't need to really know to understand what is happening...

To get to the point, I think this was very well written and I enjoyed it!! Well done!