September 24th, 2014 at 04:30pm
This is for Tipsy returns! My good friend! Hahaha that's so funny.
*reads story*
Ahhhhh!!! *continuous screaming and runs away*
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Content
The message conveyed at the end was powerful, and it was done beautifully. I really enjoyed your description of her surroundings and feelings. It had a realistic feel to it. My only complaint though, is that why did the girl decide to go back? And if she planned on getting aided by her aunt, why did she not run that way in the first place? To seek help from companion, isn't that the first instinct of an injured animal? Otherwise, this was amazingly well written.
Errors
There were a few minor mistakes that I noticed.
1. "We were werewolves, not the monsters people tented to think of when they hear the word." It should be 'tended' instead of 'tented'.
2. "She had gotten me mid thy, the wound was severely bruised all around" The 'thy' should be 'thigh'.
2. "But I was too week from the silver, and now there was more sliding through my veins." The 'week' should be 'weak'.
Overall
I really enjoyed reading this story, and I appreciate the fact that it conveyed a message. Your writing style is gripping and descriptive, which were a major charm of the story. Very well done. Keep it up!