His Sacrifice - Comments

Before I begin, I just wanted to say that the layout was very hard on the eyes due to the fact that it's white font on a black background. I would highly recommend changing it, however it's your story, so obviously you don't have to do so. It's just a thought

I found myself confused by the ear thing. I didn't understand what that had to do with the rest of the story, so a little description about that and what it meant to 'lose' them would've been great.
I love the emotion you created with this piece. It was absolutely beautiful and really made me feel for the character. Unrequited love is the worst.

I didn't notice grammar/spelling mistakes and the story flowed very well. Great job!

I think you did a great job with the roles you gave these two: Soubi being beloved and Ritsuka being loveless. As it was stated in the narration, these are opposites, but I also felt that they go together well. Soubi is very obviously beloved to Ritsuka, who is also struggling to find love and feels that there is no one out there who will love him the way that he loves Soubi. I was starting to wonder where the Heisenbergian Love was going to come into play, and then towards the end you brought it up and I had to kick myself-- it's all about perspective. What might seem slow to someone else, could be fast and uncertain to another, which it was for Ritsuka. So good job on this! I really like that you took your own spin on the Heisenbergian Love!

Oh! I am so sorry I only had the time to actually read this now.

Anyway, I like this! Although I'm not familiar with the manga () but this is interesting.

From what I understand from reading this one-shot is that the girl, (I assume the persona was a girl) was in love with this guy called Soubi but she wasn't sure whether Soubi really loved her or only cared for her because of her brother Seimei? Correct me if I'm wrong.

Well, for me, that's the interesting part. We all can somehow relate to that feeling of being unsure especially when it involves something like this and I assume Soubi is the kind of person that is hard to read and thus, making the persona even more confused as to who she really is to him.

However, I have a couple of questions:

1. Is the persona an original character and do you have a name for her?
2. When you talked about ears and them falling off as they become adults, are these characters a type of non-human creature? And I notice something you mentioned about a cat or something. Are they like neko-type creature?

Anyway, I definitely enjoy reading this story! Good job!