Shameless - Comments

swell (150)

:: Member
Gender:: ♀
Age:: 29
Location:: Australia

Hi there, I'm here to judge contest!

I have a lot of mixed feelings about this, honestly. On one hand, I like the way you used the prompt of being 'bad' in your story, I felt like this entry was different from the others in that while what the main characters were doing was I suppose not in everyone's best interests, it wasn't necessarily a bad thing to do (when it comes to stepsiblings hooking up, I mean it's really in the eye of the beholder to how they feel about it). What did put me off about the situation was that in some instances, it felt a little...rapey. I felt like it could have been shown more in Alex's perspective that he was up for it, rather than showing that he wasn't but taking it anyways because he couldn't say no to Darcy. So at times I felt highly uncomfortable with that. One thing I did like was your writing style - it was easy to read and kept my interest the whole way through. However I found at times it was a bit '50 shades', in that the author of that novel threw in big words to make herself sound smarter and at times it felt like that's what was happening here. I felt like it wasn't necessary, since you did a great job of storytelling and adding in random words cheapened the content a little.

Besides that, I found this story entertaining and definitely kept me hooked the whole way through. Thanks for entering!

July 21st, 2017 at 01:25pm