All the Awards - Comments

I am super jelly of all of your knowledge about these amazing bands. I adore all of the little details that you incorporated. I totally have to check out all these bands that I haven't heard of before. Thank you for giving me more music to listen to. I bet that all these bands are totally badass.

And all the cute, clever, and funny lines. My gosh. You are such a lovely genius.

Aww. I'm a little sad that Paramore didn't win. But I'm happy for Oli and the rest of Bring Me the Horizon. And that kiss is the cutest thing. Best couple award goes to Oli and Hayley for sure. I'm so happy that Hayley didn't give up on him, even when he was at his lowest.

I wonder what Jack was doing with that sack of flour.

WOW. THAT ENDING. WOW THERE. I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT. BUT I LOVE LOVE LOVE IT. OH MY GOSH. SEQUEL, PLEASE??? I WANNA HEAR ALL ABOUT THE ADVENTURES WITH THE PARAHORIZON BABY.

OMG. OMG. OMG. THIS IS THE CUTEST THING I HAVE READ LIKE EVER. I TOTALLY SHIP OLI AND HAYLEY. ALL THANKS TO YOU.

That part when they are all talking about fanfiction sites and Franksykes is too great. This story is absolutely perf. And Jack is so silly. I love how you gave all of them such amazing personalities and everything. I just love this.

"Nowadays his motto is if it's too loud, you're too old. He's definitely my so." That line totally made me giggle. My favorite line so far. Besides the derp comment that came from Jack. Oh my gosh. "Look at that. Already parents and haven't even had a baby yet." I love it. So cute.

Aww. The two of them being all cutesy makes me want to cry and hold my stuffed animals. Cutest couple award goes to Oli and Hayley. For shizzle. Cutie pies.

Of course Brendon is breaking the rules, that hooligan. And Parababy, oh my gosh, I love that. Parahorizon baby, even better.

"And we all know how good a rapper I am," Oli whispered back. HAHAHAHAHA.

I really cannot wait to find out what happens. But I must get some sleep, so it must wait until tomorrow. To be continued...

Gift swap! I'll start off with saying that mibba must be dead I mean; No comments yet? What is that? Everybody deserves some feedback on what they are writing, don't they?

First; Your layout is very nice. It makes the content easily readable and is lovely to look at.

I first checked out your other story, the smut one you have on here, and I realized you used the same scene. Hayley asking olli to stop licking. Its a nice way to connect the two stories.

I do find it hard, reading through, to figure out from which point of view this is written. It seems to jump every paragraph which makes it hard to follow. Also, to really bond with the main character, its easier for the reader to know which one is in fact the main character. Further on in the chapter it is becoming more clear that its Oli's POV. I must say it helps the reading a lot.

The way you make Alf wake them up is very good. how you describe the over enthusiastic dog is vivid. The conversation between the two is also very real. It authentic and sounds true to reality. Their relationship is portrayed as very sweet and with teasing each other from time to time. You wrote that brilliantly. Its very nice to read about a good relationship so now and then.

Your story is full of explanations and introductions. Although very good for people to understand the connections between people and where they come from; sometimes a bit of mystery cannot hurt. It urges the reader to go on. They want to fill in the blanks. Of course, this also, can be done too much which leaves the reader too confused. Finding that balance is the trick.

one last tip; try making your chapters smaller. Like maybe 2 normal pages. This will make it easier to read because its seperated in small parts.

Overall; your writing is great. Its easily readable and its very cute. I can feel you know these bands very good (in contrary to me, ive only listened to paramore in their early stages) and you have a true love for the fanfiction you write.

Keep writing!