The Vampires of Today - Comments

OK I've read the next chapter and this time I didn't find any mistakes but again I still don't like Jesper I think he's a bad man and father and that her mother only went to him because she didn't have any other choice. I mean if he was so great, why leave him at all in the first place? Great job, can't wait for more.

Well I've read your first new chapter I found one mistake .

"You listen to me Eleanor, yy father wants nothing more then another vampire to control just like he does to my sister."

I think you meant my is instead of yy

Other than that I still don't like Jesper, still want him to get punched in the face so far but we'll see I guess.

@ beautiful monotony
She pretty much is a child. (: I'm glad you are enjoying her character and story.

Sorry it took me so long to get to this school....

Anyway though, I've read the first two chapters, and I like the story so far! It's interesting in a way that's somewhat hard for me to describe. Eleanor seems very much like a child to me even though she actually seems to be a teenager, if not an adult, which is interesting in itself. I'm curiois as to why her mother chose to hide with her in the woods her entire life rather than get her used to society and living amongst humans instead. But, whatever her reasons, it does make for an interesting story because of Eleanor's interactions with others. Since she's only ever been around her mother, she doesn't know the proper way to act with others.

All in all, very good! Keep writing ^-^

OK I have read all three chapters and do far I like it, I will admit I'm more into werewolves and I had to read the info to make sure this wasn't twilight fan-fiction, I don't hate twilight per say, but the movies have kind of put me off of attempting to read the books, unfortunately I learned about the books after I'd already seen the movie.

Anyway back to your story there w weren't any mistakes that I could spot, but I do absolutely love the layout, it fits the story and is absolutely beautiful.

I'm not sure how old Eleanor is she seems like she might be kid or in her early teens, I don't really like Jesper so far he seems rude and mean to Eleanor especially to be her father, I kind of want to see him get punched in the face but maybe my opinion of him might change.

I want to know what happened with Eleanor and the human though, I want to know how she even got into that position to begin with.

@ white elephants.
YAY! I'm glad! Please remind me if I comment on your story, because I was gone for awhile.

@ domi823

I definitely do need to work on the third chapter. I just wanted to write something and put it out instead of making sure I was just happy with it.
Thank you so much! Your thoughts and corrections are very much appreciated.

Summary: Seems intriguing. You don't give away too much which is nice and leaves the reader wondering. Judging by the way it's worded, I'm guessing her mother's friends are humans?

Chapter 1: So far so good! Your imagery is perfect; everything morphed into my head like I was watching a movie. I liked the sensory details too. I could feel the toes between my toes as well and I smelled what she could've possibly smelled. Also, I like that you show she's a vampire by saying another vampire! rather then telling us she's one. Not much was given away here, but that's probably because it's only the first chapter. To chapter 2 I go!

Chapter 2: "Bloody tears". I like this! It's very different. Other vampire stories I've read said they either didn't have tears or the tears were venom. Yay for originality!

Little grammar mistake in this: I still didn't fully understand what my mother was trying to explain, I don't want to hide who I truly am, but I nodded my head in agreement anyway, causing my mother to smile at me. She always looked so beautiful when she smiled, we both walked up the same wooden stairs that Jesper did, and walked into the home. There should be a period after explain. Also, a period should be after she smiled instead of a comma.

"This must be your daughter Eleanor. Ohh, she looks so much like you Madam," Annabel's big eyes... A period should be after Madam rather than a comma. Whenever an action follows dialogue rather than a speaker tag ("pronoun said), you would use a comma.

Anyway, chapter two is great too! How old is Eleanor? I'm thinking she's very young because she seems so curious!

Chapter 3: Fair enough, I've just worked out that I've been with my fiance for five years next month :O

There you go: I'm guessing this is an author's note? o.O If so, I think it's against the rules to put it in the story content. There's an author's note section just for this.

Anyway!

This chapter started off well, but the ending was kind of random. I like the "father" twist, but Eleanor's reaction was out of the blue. Just a few more details will show the readers where her hatred comes from.

Overall: This story is off to a good start! Like I said, just a few more details to show the readers and some fixing of the grammar mistakes and it'll be perfect!

I'm finally here from comment swap! I'm sosososososo sorry. I got caught up and then got behind on my work and just...ugh. So much.

Anyway, yes. This story.

It's been quite a while since I've read a vampire story (oh twilight,). So, that itself caught my attention. Fyi, I'm such a layout person and I just love looking at them and yours is just really captivating. Ok, onto the work. The story is interesting. It's not your typical vampire story. Eleanor and her mom haven't seemed to adapted to the new world. Cuz, y'know usually the vamps nowadays have iphone's and ferrari's. So for her to be secluded is different. I enjoy the whole feel of this story and its flow.

@ Limitless;;
I'm so glad you are in love and excited for the story just like I am.

I'm really excited to see where you go with this! I loved Soaring in the End, and this just makes me want to jump up and down and scream! Eleanor is adorable and I really like how you've created her character. She's so shy and dumbfounded by this new world and I can't wait to see how she takes it all in.

Jasper is honestly a really interesting character. I can't wait to see what roll he has to play in all of this. And I can't wait to see how Eleanor reacts to all of the things he might show her. I'm also interested to see how she interacts with the people she meets since she's unfamiliar with any other world aside from the one her mother has raised her in.

Honestly. I can't wait for the next upload!