okay sorry i don't give any feed back. Im not good at it. But i really like your story, one thing to make it a little clearer who is talking maybe put at the start the name of who is speaking. I get confused easy and im sure many others do too.... =] great story tho! love it!
Awesome story,it's a great read!!! You seem to keep misspelling lose and writing it as loose.That and you're also writing you're as your.Those thing really bring me down while reading the story,especially in the climax-sort of moments.Overall though,the story's great. More?