Shark Week - Comments

wait, what's going on? I want this story back.

I really like your writing style, in the way that it's simple and really easy to read. The story felt like it started out a little slow, almost, where I didn't feel like we knew much about the characters other than Kalani needs to practice surfing. It's be progressing though, and I think the last chapter really helped to move it along. We get to see Kalani and her friends interacting more, and so their personalities are coming out a bit.

I like how the plot is going, you have a nice flow from chapter to chapter, and you always move things along so they don't get stuck in one place for too long. I would like to see a bit more character development though. The characters all see interesting, but I don't feel like we know them too well yet.

But good job! I'm excited to see where this goes :)

I think that this story reads very easily, and has a nice, simple style that doesn't present as forced. In the few chapters I posted, I can tell that Kalani takes surfing very seriously, although it began to get repetitive what with her constantly talking about surfing and who she needs to practice and wants to go somewhere with it. I'd like to see Dylan fleshed out more as a character, he seems a bit dry, although I'm sure its only because we see him through Kalani's perspective. In any event, I like what you've got so far! :)

Bouncing, waiting for an update. ... So I could leave an extra semi long comment. Lol

I don't really know if it's just a Katie thing or not, but you can always seem to pull off writing about the little aspects of life that can seem so mundane to some and just make them sound so much more appealing, or rather not boring to read about! I feel like I can already get a feel for Kalani's person even though it's only halfway through the first chapter, and I can just feel her being this totally laid back chick who just loves to ride and surf since her mind's always on it. I also kind of laughed in approval of her mentality when Dylan asked her out to Tacos. "I could teach my dad that I really could make lemonade out of lemons, or in this case, turn plumbing duty into free fish tacos." Favorite. Line. In. The Chapter.

I also giggled when Dylan said "fancy", too. And my giggling only intensified when Kalani thought it too. The very last sentence of the chapter makes Kalani sound so mischievous! If she has an inability to say no, I feel like I can just see her being a little rebel. ...Although, it might be too early to assume that since she didn't say no to something big - it was only fish tacos.

Oh my gosh, Kalani and her fish tacos! She loves fish tacos a lot, she keeps mentioning it! It's so hilarious how on the inside she's all, "I'm going for the fish tacos, not to show you around so let's not make painful chit chat." And oooohhh, I haaaate small talk! It's always so painful in stories, but the way you write about it... it's like Dylan is just being totally chill about everything so it's not even what you could consider "small talk". That probably didn't make sense, but whatever. And I was like giving my laptop this knowing look when Kalani thought about California and how Dylan might know something about surfing. Like... it was inevitable that she would ask about it! And now the little shipper in me is hoping that Kalani will take it upon herself to instruct Dylan in the ways of the surfer.

OH MY GOD, TITO. PLEASE TELL ME YOU GOT THAT FROM TEAM ROCKET. I WILL BE DEVASTATED OTHERWISE. and if it is you should totally name that hut the "shore shack"

But wow, you can just sense how serious Kalani really is about her surfing by the end of the chapter. It's like a do or die thing with her, which makes me admire her character a bit more. I am curious to see what will happen from here on out, though.

I think that you're doing a great job with this so far and I know that you'll go places with it! Keep it up!

Wow, so I started reading this fic last night, and finished it today and all I can say is that this is extremely well written and I definitely look forward to seeing how you continue with this!

Dylan is such an amazing, and adorable guy! I'm excited to see him and Kalani spending more time together. They already make a cute couple :3

Keep up the great work! I've subscribed and recommended :D

Wow, so I started reading this fic last night, and finished it today and all I can say is that this is extremely well written and I definitely look forward to seeing how you continue with this!

Dylan is such an amazing, and adorable guy! I'm excited to see him and Kalani spending more time together. They already make a cute couple :3

Keep up the great work! I've subscribed and recommended :D

I really love the chemistry between Dylan and kalani so far! Can't wait for more!

Babe is right!

And he's alfeady charmed these poor ladies and I don't think they know it yet. I would call this a filler chapter but they have to get to know each other before anything else can happen. I'm glad that they're doing that and finding things in on'
Love and can't wait for more

I've finally found some time to catch up on all of your Dylan stories!

I love the picture you used for the banner, he looks absolutely gorgeous in it

I can totally relate to Kalani with the whole awkwardness thing, I hate it. I end up blushing up a storm and muttering like a crazy person

I love how oblivious she is, it's really sweet. Looking forward to the bonfire and whatever shenanigans they get up to

How can there only be 9 (now 10) comments on this amazing story?! There needs to be more. :)) update soon please!!

Hehe he IS very cute
Glad he's meeting people too

I really wonder where the relationship is gonna go, I can't wait to read more. This is amazing :)

I can't even express how much I love the layout for this story. It definitely adds something special to it. Loving it so far. Can't wait to read more!

This seems like it's going to be fun so I can't wait to see the chemistry spark

I'm a sucker for fish out of water tales. And Dylan makes them so enjoyable so I can't wait for more!

I'm excited :) amazing

Oh boy oh boy oh boy! I am loving this story so far! I know it has been stated in previous comments already, but I love how unique the story already is. I love that Kalani (I love her name!) is a full time surfer. Like mentioned, surfers aren't on here much, so it's a refreshment. And I love Dylan's nonchalantness. I read this because it had Dylan, and I do love me some Dylan, but stayed the fantastic chapter. I can't wait to read more! :)

omg. i actually really like this. i don't normally read anything that isn't avenged sevenfold (i'm boring). i've done a few one direction stories here and there but lately i have needed a breath of fresh air ana i believe this is it. i will definitely be subscribing. how can you not be a sucker for dylan? it's nearly impossible. and i like that this isn't you're typical fan fiction. it has a unique storyline; which seems to be hard to come by these days. and i love how easily your dialogue flows together.
thank you for telling me to comment on this via mibbaween. i am looking forward it it.

It sucks that there are no comments on this. You have 27 recommendations, though, so that has to mean something, yes? Well, I guess I'm your first comment, haha!

I love Dylan O'Brien. I love your writing. I love the plot line. I love the name Kalani (it makes me think of the American Girl Doll of the Year a could years back; I have a young cousin - don't judge me ;D). I love how clueless Dylan is (a place where they don't drive cars? What?!). I love that Kalani is a surfer; there aren't many surfer stories out there, and as winter draws near here in the Western Hemisphere, I am all for summer stories (and I'm sure the Eastern hemisphere, drawing near to summer, is all for summer stories as well, so,it's a win-win, you know?).

Overall, I just love this story