Aww this was beautiful (:
December 23rd, 2008 at 05:03pm
Becoming Marie.
This is such an interesting story - it sparks... inquisition, makes me wonder and think. The description is, to say the least, amazing. I felt like even though she was terminally ill, it wasn't a bad thing and that she saw it as something of a nuisance rather than a great tragedy. Even though it's in the third person, it sounds like the point of view of a terminally ill child. She may be ill, but she is not a china doll. Defiant but, in someway, careful and thoughtful.
I like your style of writing, it sounds very 19th century and elegant when I read it out in my head.
I also like the line: Eleven-year-olds don't die. It's as though her mind can't even comprehend the idea of someone who is not elderly actually dying, which is exactly what I thought when I was young. Illnesses expanded to a three-day bout of influenza and that was it.
My favourite description was the paragraph in which you described how her illness had changed her appearance. It's too long for me to copy into the review but I thought that was by far the best part of the story.
I love stories that end with dialogue and I think that a bad ending can ruin a story. However, despite the title of the story I didn't see the last line coming.
She say, "I am Marie."
:yah You are a genius.
You have a talent for writing m'dear:cute: