Cunning. - Comments

please continue

Oooh, I haven't read a Harry Potter universe fanfic in quite a while.

I've really enjoyed this so far! It's refreshing to see the story centering around someone in Slytherin house (I'm a Slytherin myself), and the fact that she's not a bitch or some sort of horrible character is brilliant. So farm Vi looks like a great character, and I can't wait to find out more about her as the story develops!

The whole thing is really well written, and really enjoyable to read. I'll definitely be keeping up with updates. Nice work!

I'm here delivering a Mibbaween treat!

It was the title of this that pulled me in. A Malfoy-centric story named Cunning? Colour me intrigued. And that banner. That. Banner. Unf.

ANYWAY. Onto the story. The way you introduce this is just ingenious. You really get a sense of Vi's character from the very second you start reading, which is lovely. You also write Snape really well, which I was pleased with. A lot of stuff I see has Snape pretty OOC, but you've got him down to a fine art here, which is awesome! Your description is pretty spot-on from the beginning as well, which makes this really lovely and easy to read through.

As well as the whole Snape thing, you've got this wonderful exchange between Hermione and Vi that just makes me so intrigued. I don't know what happened to make them so angry at one another, but the fact that you've left it in the way you have definitely makes me want to come and read more once it's up. Awesome job!

First of all, I'd like to voice my appreciation for your layout, The colouring is great and I like the distorted/faded effect.

I love it! Anything with Draco in it is instant awesome in my book. I also love your original character, shes torn and it's great to see her and Draco interact.

I hope you continue this, I'm honestly really interested in where you are taking this, it has the potential to be amazing!

So far, so good! You write very well. I'm curious to see how this unfolds, since there are so many different ways this could go. And I know there's only one chapter, but I already like Virella...

I chose this specific story because I've had an itch to read HP universe fanfiction, so it's kind of a coincidence that you wrote a Draco fic! I'm really digging it so far. I don't know how to describe it, but your...diction, I guess? is really superb. Each sentence flows really well together in such a fluid, descriptive way.

ooh, I like the plot line that she blames Harry for Sirius' death. It'll be interesting to see how that develops and if she ever forgives him for it. Overall, this is a great start to the story and I'm looking forward to watching it grow!

First of all, a story about Draco Malfoy titled 'Cunning' just fits so right!

I too would be interested in knowing where Virella is off to! But the way you described Snape and his dialogue, complete with those pauses, was great! I also enjoyed that you pretty much just jumped right into it. There wasn't much time spent on the backstory or any deep bits of information given. Not that that's a bad thing, it's just interesting when authors exclude these things in favor of just kick starting a story. Keep up with this story because it seems like it had great potential!

I do wonder just where this is going, who Virella is, other than the niece of Sirius. You give us so many questions! I don't even know what to say.

I do agree with the person below me though, your layout is a bit hard on the eyes. Also, and it's really just my opinion, but describing her eyes as ebony is just... I feel it's too descriptive.

Keep writing!

Wait, I have a question. If Virella is Sirius' niece, then wouldn't she also be Narcissa's niece, and therefore, Draco's cousin? (Unless this isn't a love story...)
But anyways, I like this so far! I loooove Draco to the moon and this is definitely interesting, how you incorporated this girl into Harry's era and all that. It's pretty interesting!

Yay! A Draco story! Haha, when I went onto your Stories page and saw it, I was seriously like, "Well, I know what I'm reading. "

If I may, (and this is just a personal preference, but) I suggest editing and tweaking the layout a bit. It's a bit hard on the eyes because the font color blends a bit in with the background, but that may or may not be just my horrible eyesight. However, it's up to you, so feel free to disregard my suggestion if you don't agree with it!

Getting into the story... I like how you get right into it. There's no back story so far and it's just interesting dialogue that keeps your attention. Sometimes stories don't pull off the "dialogue right at the beginning opener," but for this particular one, I believe it fits perfectly. The way you write out Snape is just the best! Haha, the dialogue between him is totally what he would say and I could totally hear him! I love how you always have him pause between his words and stuff. It's a habit of his that I believe really helps bring him to life. If there were one thing I would disagree on, it'd be the fact that he only took away five points. The Snape I know would definitely take away 50.

Right away, when you have her encounter with Hermione, I'm totally lost - in a good way, I assure you. I'm dying to find out more about why there's such a rocky relationship between her and the trio. Especially when Hermione says that they're basically family. I mean, Virella's surname is Black so I'm pretty sure that she's related to him through Sirius ( ), but I'm just left wondering what the exact connection is.

Then when she just shoves Draco away, I'm like, "Girl, what are you doing?" I'm also interested about their relationship too. I mean, Draco seems interested in her - that's for sure, but she definitely seems like she adores her own privacy and space.

I think this story has a lot of potential and I hope you keep up with it! Good job!

Caaaaaaaandy bowl~!~!~!
Okaaaaay, so firstly, I've always loved the Potterhead fandom. I love this layout, I love the Slytherin colors. I LOOOOOOOOVE the long pauses you put in Snape's speech. It made me laugh because I can hear Alan Rickman's voice as I read along. AND THAT HE JUST DEDUCTED FROM GRIFFENDOR, I seriously laughed so hard.
Secondly, I really loved your writing, it was flowing and real and I could actually imagine the entire thing happening. The way she reacted was classic to the story and I loved that you kept to that. Keep on writing, dear.