This was written beautifully, and I love the third omniscient P.O.V. The emotion in it was so subtle yet strong that I was crying well before the end! The allusions to the song you made meshed perfectly without being obvious, and overall this was perfect!
Errors/Easy Fixes:
There were some sentences that need a little touch up, a word fixed/replaced and such, 'hr eyes were the bluest thing...' for example. There weren't many mistakes like that, but they're there all the same.
Grammar:
Your story has some of the best grammar I've read, and I honestly cannot find any mistakes other than a few punctuation errors.
Overall:
This was written beautifully, and I love the third omniscient P.O.V. The emotion in it was so subtle yet strong that I was crying well before the end! The allusions to the song you made meshed perfectly without being obvious, and overall this was perfect!
Errors/Easy Fixes:
There were some sentences that need a little touch up, a word fixed/replaced and such, 'hr eyes were the bluest thing...' for example. There weren't many mistakes like that, but they're there all the same.
Grammar:
Your story has some of the best grammar I've read, and I honestly cannot find any mistakes other than a few punctuation errors.
Current Placement:
First